


Escape

by leviheichousbrat



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Abuse, Alcohol, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Blow Jobs, Choking, Crime, Death, Derogatory Language, Drinking, Drugs, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Levi is a Sex God (Shingeki no Kyojin), Levi is possesive, Misogyny, Murder, Past Child Abuse, Past Domestic Violence, Past Sexual Abuse, Past Sexual Assault, Rape/Non-con Elements, Reader-Insert, Romance, Rough Sex, SO, Semi-Public Sex, Sexual Relationships, Stabbing, Step-parents, Tags May Change, Tears, Toxic Relationships, Vaginal Sex, Violence, Well that was problematic huh, also dark and twisted, and I love it, because why not?, but levi is a caring roommate, cigarette, enjoy?, i always forget that, i have warned u, okay, please read the tags, ps. levi is insane, really crazy, so i guess, so u still want to read this huh, thank, that's all i think?, the reader is submissive, you - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-07
Updated: 2021-03-15
Packaged: 2021-03-18 12:20:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 13
Words: 31,277
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29243469
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leviheichousbrat/pseuds/leviheichousbrat
Summary: Levi said that he'll do everything for you, and when he said everything, he means every fucking thing.
Relationships: Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin)/Reader, Levi/Reader
Comments: 58
Kudos: 202





	1. Tea

**Author's Note:**

> hi welcome! idk how many chapters this story would be but i guess it wouldn't be too long.
> 
> anyways, the reader's name in here would be Aria Reed.

It was the middle of the night.

You always wake up in the middle of the night, screaming and crying. You opened your eyes as your chest moves up and down so unusually fast. Beads of sweat rolling from your forehead.

"You're alright. It's okay." you whispered to yourself.

You sat up and you covered your upper body with a blanket. You walk to the balcony and the cold wind of the night greeted you. You looked down and you can see the people on the streets, the buildings and the lights, and the loud noise from the cars on the road.

You sighed. It's a typical lonely night for you who lives alone in her apartment.

"It's okay. It's not like I'm not immune to it." you murmured. Tears fell on your cheeks.

You long for a loving touch. Not that you know what it feels. You just crave for it. You'd like to know the feeling of being held safely, knowing that nothing bad would happen to you.

Your arms are folded as it rests on the railings. You're looking far when you pondered on something your landlord said earlier.

_"The rent payment is near. I should hope that you'd pay it on time. I'm so sick of you always paying your rent late."_

"What the hell does she want? At least I pay."

You're busy at the university and you have a part time job at the tea shop near your apartment. It's not like it pays well, but you have no choice. You need to do things for yourself because no one will.

Petra sometimes, offers you money but you can't accept that. It's a risky proposition. It may end badly and you don't want to lose an important friendship. She says she doesn't mind though. But you just can't.

Now, all you need is someone to share your bills and rent with. You just curse yourself for renting this two bedroom small apartment. You need a roommate. You don't want to because you have a hard time trusting someone new. If you could just ask Petra to move in with you but she has a roommate already.

You don't really want to have a roommate. But do you have any other choice?

...

Morning came, and as usual.. You get up and make your bed. Drink some tea or coffee, or if you're not lazy, you'll eat some bread. But mostly, you just drink coffee. What would you eat anyways? You don't have any groceries yet. You're too lazy to get your ass up and buy food for yourself.

You look at the time and it's still early. And you really need a roommate. You stood up with an irritated face to get your laptop and make some flyers for your roommate search.

You do have some choice to move to a cheaper apartment but this is a perfect place for you, it's close to where you work and it's not too far from your university. And you already settled in here. You don't want to go to the trouble of moving your things. You scratched your head as you yawn. 

You closed your laptop and went to the bathroom to take a bath and get ready for school. You have classes until noon. And in the afternoon, you work. That's how things always are for you.

You get bored. But there's really nothing to do about it.

"What's that?" Petra asked you as soon as she saw you holding a piece of paper. She snatched it from you. "You're looking for a roommate? I told you I could just lend you-"

"Petra." you cut her off. "It's fine. I told you, I wouldn't take money from you. I like our friendship the way it is."

She pouted at you as you continue to walk towards the bulletin board in the hallway where they put up stuffs. "You're stubborn, Reed."

"You too, Ral."

She scoffed and rolled her eyes at you. You just gave her a grin as you post the piece of paper in the bulletin. "I can be your roommate."

"And, you'll leave your roommate? At that big ass apartment? Paying for her own bills?"

"She can do it. She's not a baby anymore." you scoffed and gave Petra a laugh. "Fine. I'm just worried about you. What if your roommate is a horrible person? What if they're nasty? Ew." she shuddered.

You chuckled at her. "It's going to be alright. Come on." she cling her arm on yours and you walk to your room.

Every person that you pass by greets Petra or smiles at her. But you're not that surprised anymore, she's kind and friendly. It's not hard to be friends with her and she's approachable. While you, you're okay with having few friends. It's better than having a big circle of friends who you can't trust.

You walk in the classroom and you notice a man sitting on the corner. He looks so bored and serious. He has a short black hair with an undercut and a narrow intimidating gray eyes. You look at him with a curious face.

"He's the new student that they're talking about." Petra told you when she catch you looking at him. You looked at her.

"Okay." you simply said. It's already halfway through the first semester and there's a new student. But why would you care anyways?

You sat down at your usual sit with Petra and she just talks to you about her parents and her roommate and what's new with her, all that kind of stuff.

The professor came and started the discussions. Yadda yadda. You're not really listening. You're not in the mood to be a good student today. You just want to get through today and sleep on your bed.

"I'm bored." Petra whispered at you. "Should've cut classes."

You nodded at her. "Agreed."

...

"Here's your order, Ma'am. Thanks for buying. Please come again." you said politely as you smiled at the customer after handing her the paper bag. She smiled at you as she walk out the door.

"Boring, huh." Sasha said and you just nodded. Sasha is your co-worker and one of your close friend. Though, she doesn't go to the same university as you. 

Well, it really is. Boring. You just sell loose leaf tea, help customers pick from the samples for them to take home. There really isn't much tea lovers in your area. You're wondering why this shop isn't closed yet but at least you have a job.

Your ears perk up when you heard the jingling of the chimes that are above the door. "Welcome! We're glad you're here, how can we help you today?" Sasha said as stood confidently and smiled at the customer, of course, you did the same.

Your eyes widen when you saw the new student at your university today. The first thing that came into your mind is that he's short. Well, you didn't notice it earlier because he was sitting and you didn't really care that much about him.

"Tea." he just simply said.

"We have sorts of sample here for you to try-"

"Black Tea."

Rude.

He cut you off but you smiled at him and got the box of black tea under the glass display. "Is there anything else you'd like, Sir? We have-"

You're stopping yourself from rolling your eyes when he cuts you off again. "Nothing."

Before you even say the price he hands you the money. "Keep the change."

"Okay, Sir." you placed the box inside the paper bag and handed it to him. "Thanks for buying. Please come again." you gave him a smile.

Don't come back you rude son of a bitch, you thought.

He just nodded and walks out of the shop. "Well, he's rude."


	2. Tea and Cigarettes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi so, for the places here in this story, i'll use the districts in aot, i don't want to use real places so just think of it in a modern setting, where there are big cities and suburbs something like that. so you won't be confused, sina is where the rich rich people are, rose (karanes district exactly) is where the reader resides, like big cities and stuff and maria is where the suburbs are. thanks. hehe. but ofc, i don't own aot. just so we're clear. hihi

"Bye, Sasha." you waved your hand at Sasha and you went out of the shop. You sighed as you walk your way to the apartment. It's a walking distance from your apartment to the shop.

You pass by different people. Some are drunk, some are in their formal attire, students, kids and elderly people. It's usual for you to encounter different types of people given that you're living in a big city. You reached your apartment building, you entered and reach for your keys to open your door.

You entered a dark apartment. Sometimes you think, it must be nice to be coming home to someone rather than coming home to nothing. You checked your phone if someone contacted you for the roommate shit. But unfortunately, there are none. 

"Don't you people want to live with me? I'm a pleasant person." you whispered to yourself. 

You changed from your work uniform to a racerback tank and some sweatpants. You got a can of beer from your refrigerator and make your way to the living room to watch television, even if you just look at your phone and the television just serve as a background noise.

Suddenly, your phone rang and an unfamiliar number popped up. "It must be for the roommate search.."

"Hello?" 

"Hey. Is this Aria Reed?" your brows furrowed. It's a familiar voice but you can't remember where you heard it. 

"Uhm, yes. I guess you're calling for the roommate search that I posted?"

"What else?" you scoffed but not that loud for the person in the other line to hear. "Anyways, I want to see the apartment before I decide. Can I drop by tomorrow? Say 1 'o clock afternoon."

"Yeah, sure. I'll text you the address. Uhm, can I ask what your name is?"

"Levi. Levi Ackerman." he said and you nodded even though he can't see you.

"Okay, Levi. See you." 

You said your goodbyes and you dropped the call. You really swear you heard that voice already. You just can't point where and when. You just shrugged your shoulders. Tomorrow's pretty perfect, it's Friday and you don't have class or work.

...

You woke up pretty early. You cleaned the apartment, even if you're lazy, you don't want your future roommate to think that you're a messy person. You looked at the door when the doorbell rang. You looked at the peephole and you saw a familiar figure standing in front.

"What the fuck.." you whispered when your mind finally remembered.

The transferee. The rude customer. It's Levi. That's why his voice is so familiar. You're contemplating whether you'll open the door or not. 

You sighed and opened the door. He was taken a back when he saw you, he remembered you. But then he immediately went back to his usual expression. "I was standing here for two minutes. Does it really took you that long to answer the door?"

Your fist clenched but you shrugged it off and smiled at him. "I'm sorry, I was at the bathroom. Please, come inside." 

Do you really want to be roommates with this jerk? But then you remembered, he's the only one who contacted you. There's not a lot of options here. You followed him as he looked around. 

You're pleading for him not to like it but at the same time you're wishing that he'll take it so you don't have to wait too long in finding a roommate. You really don't know where you stand.

Maybe, he'll get better once you know him. Or, maybe you don't need to talk to him. He seems like the person who likes to keep himself. You don't know. 

You lead him into his bedroom, if he moved in. It's smaller compared to yours. But what can he do, you already picked that room. "This will be your room."

He didn't say anything and you really can't read him. He exited the bedroom and you followed him into the living room. 

"What do you think?" you asked him.

"It's.." he paused as he moved his head to look around once again and finally, his gaze landed into yours. "Fine."

"Fine, what?"

"I'll take it." you smiled at him. "Any questions you'd like to ask me?" 

"Yes, actually. Do you like some tea or coffee?" you asked him, he sat on the dining table as he followed you on the kitchen. "Oh, you like tea."

You didn't let him answer. You remembered he bought a tea at your shop yesterday. Not to mention, he's rude when he bought it. 

"I only have green tea and oolong. Which one would you prefer?" you asked as you hold both tea in each hand. Maybe you'll get along through tea. He seems to brighten up when tea is mentioned.

"Green tea's fine." you just nodded and started to prepare the tea. You sat in front of him as you wait for the water to heat up. You both seat pretty comfortable.

His back is leaned on the chair while his arms are folded on his chest. "So, you just transferred, right? May I know the reason why or is it personal?"

"Personal." he simply said. 

"Can I know where you transferred from?" he nodded. 

"Yarckel." your eyes widened. So, he's like rich rich. He came from the west side of Sina. You wanted to ask him if he's one of those rich people and why would he transfer to a place like this. "I know that look. Yes, and I really won't tell you why I transferred here."

You sighed. "I didn't ask anything." 

"Your face did." you pouted subtly and you stood up when you heard the thermos click. You poured the hot water on the cups that already has the tea bag on it. You place the cup in front of him. "So, what are the other things that you'd like to know?"

"Just regular stuff, are you messy? Would you have friends over? How often are you home? Would you have any problems in paying rent.. stuff like that."

He sit up straight and he sipped his tea first then he let out a satisfied hum. You noticed how he held his cup. That's weird, you thought. "I don't like mess. I don't have much friends. I'll probably be home most of the time since school is the only thing that occupies my time. I won't have problems in paying rent."

You just looked at him as he speak. You were fascinated because he remembered all of your questions and he even answered it in order. 

"Okay."

"Anything else?"

"Do you think we'll get along?" you asked him directly.

He looked at you and he leaned on the chair once again. "It depends. If you're good or bad."

"That's a weird choice of words." you said as you sip on your cup. "You know you were rude to me yesterday."

"It's because I don't know you." you raised your brows at him. "What?"

"That isn't reason enough to be rude to someone." he just shrugged his shoulders. "Anyways, how about you, do you have any questions for me?"

"Nothing. You seem good."

He finished his tea and he stood up. "I'll be going. I just need to fix my things and I'll message you next week."

You walked him into the door.

"Okay, Levi. I look forward to live with you." he just nodded and walk out the door. Before you even close the door, he faced you again. "What?"

"Do you smoke?"

"Do you?" you asked and he nodded. "Same."

He gave you a nod with a hint of relief then he went on his way.

Tea and cigarettes. Huh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi so what do u think of aria and levi's interaction? lemme knooooow hahahahaha


	3. Scream

"Is this all of your stuff?" you asked him with a confused face. "Are you really moving in or just staying for a month?"

You're helping him move his boxes from his car. Which is, by the way, really expensive. You're thinking he could just rent a much bigger place than your shitty apartment building here since he could afford it. Since there is no parking space, he's forced to park at the curb, like other cars. And you're seriously afraid that his car would be stolen.

"I left most of my stuff at Sina. I could just buy whatever I need here." he said. "Why do you care anyways. It's my stuff. I don't like nosy people."

You just rolled your eyes as you walk behind his back. "You know I'm afraid for your car."

"Why is that?" he said as he press the key outside the elevator. He looked at you.

"It's just parked out there. Do you not know how much your car is?"

"Someone from Sina would come get my car. I wouldn't use it in here." your mouth formed an 'o'. You felt relieved but a little surprised. So, a rich guy like him would try to live an ordinary life..? Well, not really ordinary. You're sure he'll spend his money or his parent's money. He don't exactly have a job. You really don't know what's up with him. 

Well, for starters, you just met him a week ago. You just try to act familiar with him so it wouldn't be awkward, since you know, you'll be living with him. But not so familiar that you trust him already.

And, he doesn't seem to mind. He's still rude and kind of aloof. But you're sure you'll know him once you live with him, you're just hoping that you can withstand him. 

"Then what would you use?"

"I guess I'll have to buy something cheaper than that." you looked at with disbelief. Your eyes and mouth opened a little. He would buy a new car and you're wondering how rich he really is. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Nothing. You have a perfectly fine car and you would buy something cheaper than that?"

"It's my life why do you care."

You both entered the elevator once it opened. "Levi." you pressed the 8th floor in the elevator and then you looked at him again once the elevator door closes.

"What?"

"Do you prefer if I left you alone or what..?" he just looked at you. Probably thinking of what to answer. You're anxious, it's long since you have someone to live with. You left your mother's house when you were 18 and since then you never contacted them. 

You're from Shiganshina and that's far away from Karanes. You never wanted to step foot in that place again for reasons that you don't want to remember.

"You can talk to me. Just know your limits. It's not usual for me to make friends. But I guess, I'll have to try since we'll be living in the same roof."

So, you have a new friend. How nice.

"Okay, then." 

The elevator filled with silence. But it's not an awkward silence, it's more of a comfortable silence. You subtly turn your head to glance at Levi, you suddenly got this feeling that your life is heading towards the right path. You smirked at yourself.

Let's see.

...

You knocked at Levi's door and you leaned on the wall beside the door frame. "Levi, I'm heading out for a bit. If you want to eat something, just order. I don't have any groceries yet."

You stood up straight when the door opened. "Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why don't you have groceries yet?" he raised his eyebrows at you. He looked at you like it's a bad thing that you don't have food to get you through the day. Well, it is bad. "Then what do you eat?"

"I have bread..?" and you have your beer. "Anyways, I'll get some groceries tomorrow. If you want me to buy you something just tell me and leave some money on the side table near the door." 

Of course, you won't pay for his needs. You have enough money just for yourself. 

"Alright." you nodded at him and he closed the door once again. You're going outside with Petra, she pestered you to tell her the details about your new roommate.

She doesn't know that it's Levi yet. 

You went down and you saw Petra's car parked out front. "Hey, Reed."

She greeted you with a smile, her head hanging out her car's window. "Hey, Ral."

You sat at the passenger's seat and put on your seatbelt. Petra started to drive away. You and Petra have this usual place where you hang out. It's kind of far away from Karanes, it's in Utopia.

It's where some of the biggest shopping centers are. Of course, you don't buy anything. There's just this coffee shop that you both love. 

"Hey, Jean!" you greeted one of the worker there, he smiled when he saw the both of you. You both knew him already since you're often there. 

"Hey. Hey. Usual?" he asked when he walked towards your direction.

"You know it." Petra said as you sat down on the seat near the glass windows. "So, what can you tell me about your roommate?"

She asked you immediately as soon as you ass touched the cushions of the chair. You scoffed at her. "It's the transferee."

"Huh? That rude one? That's your roommate?" you nodded.

"Are you serious? What's his name again?"

"Levi Ackerman." she looked at you with a narrowed eyes, she looks like she's trying to remember something. 

"Ackerman?" she scratched her head as her elbow leaned on the table while she's looking sideways. "I swear I heard that surname before."

"Where?"

"Where does he say he's from?" she looked at you. You're getting curious because of how's Petra acting.

"Yarckel." your brows raised as you fold your arms in front of your chest. "Why? What the hell you're getting me anxious."

Her eyes widened. "Yarckel? That's where my Dad from. I don't why he moved in Karanes. My father was a politician there before."

You nodded. How's that relevant to your roommate? "I heard him talk about an Ackerman before. It's probably nothing."

"Here's your order, ladies." Jean approached the two of you. You smiled at him.

"Thanks, Jean."

"So, how's he so far?" she asked as soon as Jean left.

"I don't know. I've lived with him for just a day and I'm spending most of that time here with you. So, I really don't know." you said as you sip your coffee.

She gave you a disbelief expression in her face. "What about last week? You didn't interview him or such? Are you stupid?"

You rolled your eyes at Petra and placed your cup on the table. Of course you did, "I did, Petra. But I just asked him about the typical things. I didn't ask him personal questions."

Well, you just learned that he's not a messy person or a people person. And he's rude when he doesn't know you. There's that. You haven't gathered as much. "Okay, well. Just be cautious. Don't be too trusting. Tell me when something's wrong."

"You love me that much, Petra?" you teased her. She gave you a worried smile. You know that smile. "Petra, I'm fine. You looking at me like that makes me remember. Just don't.. I'll be fine. I'm pretty sure he's not like that."

But you really don't know. You're hoping that he's not.

...

It's been two weeks since Levi moved in. So far, it's alright. Most of the time he's doing something on his laptop or he's reading. You're also grateful because your apartment looks pleasant with him around.

You stood up from your bed as you yawned. You lazily went out the door and went to the bathroom. You're still not in your full self, well, you just woke up.

You flushed the toilet and you washed your hands. Not bothering to look at yourself at the mirror. You open the door with your eyes partially closed.

Levi stiffed when he saw your state. He immediately looked away. "Are you that comfortable with me already?"

"Huh?"

You looked at your clothes. You're just wearing an underwear and a big ass t-shirt. You closed the door immediately. You feel your whole consciousness wake up. "Fuck."

You feel your cheeks heat up as you look at yourself in the mirror.

He saw you in your red panties. 

"What the shit." you covered your face with both of your hands. Embarrassing. You fixed your hair and got your towel from the rack to cover your lower body. You opened the door and acted as if nothing happened. You saw Levi sitting at the couch already.

You ran to your bedroom. Levi looked at you and he let out a small laugh to himself. But then he realize what he did, did he just chuckled?

You came out if your bedroom again once you put on decent clothes. There's one thing that pisses you off, you remembered that you have to wear bras again inside your house. 

"Did you cook this?" you asked him when you saw the food on the table. 

"Who else?" he answered without removing his eyes from the book that he's reading. 

You rolled your eyes at him. Well, you're asking the obvious. 

"Did you eat already?" he nodded as response and continued to read his book. You don't why but you felt so happy, it's not like he cooked for you. But it felt nice to have a food in the table and to have someone to talk to even if you're not that close to him. 

"We have classes later. Do you want to go together?" you asked him with a hint of hesitation. You looked away and ate your food, you didn't even know why you asked that. You just thought it's convenient since you're heading the same way. "It's fine if you don't want, I just thought we're heading to the same place.."

"It's fine." your ears perked up when you heard that. You nodded as you hum in response. He didn't have his new 'cheaper' car yet so you'd take the bus with him. You wouldn't ask him to go together if he had his car, it'll look like you're asking for a ride.

You both stepped outside the apartment and walked to the bus stop. You were shocked when his hand came in touch with your shoulders you felt some kind of unusual feeling jolt through your body, he pulled you away from the reckless bike rider. You looked at him and you just realized this is the first time that he touched you. 

"Thanks." you simply said when he removed his hands on your shoulders. He nodded at you. That's one of the things you noticed about him, if he doesn't want to speak he just nods most of the time. 

You turned your back on him and waited for the bus to arrive. The university is near your apartment but you still have to take a bus. It's just a ten minute ride anyways. 

...

_You woke up and looked at your whole body. It's full of bruises. You try to stand up but your body aches so much. You can't move your legs, you closed your eyes tightly shut as you felt the pain. You cried your eyes out. You want to get away, you need to._

_You opened your eyes when you heard a voice._

_"Don't worry, your leg would heal. I just broke it for a while so you wouldn't get away from me." you looked at the man standing near the door. You looked at him with terror in your eyes. "Please, get away from me." you pleaded as he walk towards you._

_He slapped your already bruised cheeks. "What did you say?"_

_"Nothing.. I'm.. I'm sorry." you stuttered. Tears fell from your eyes as he touched your cheeks, he went from being soft to harsh._

_"Don't you tell me what to do, you bitch."_

_He touched your injured leg with pressure. You screamed in pain. "Please! Please! No!"_

"NO!" you screamed as you wake up. You sit up on your bed and you looked at the time. Your breathing is shallow and fast. You heard a knock on your door. You opened it and you saw Levi standing there with a worried face.

"What happened?" he asked you. He saw tears falling from your eyes. You wiped it and smiled at him.

"Did I wake you? I'm sorry. I forgot to tell you, sometimes I scream in my sleep.." you said shyly. You suddenly felt that you're an inconvenience to him. 

"It's fine. Are you alright?" you nodded. "What do you usually do when you wake up screaming?"

"I just sit on the balcony until I feel sleepy again." you answered. You can feel that he wanted to ask you some questions but he stopped himself. He didn't want to prey on you.

He bit his lip and looked away for a moment then he looked at you once again. He said something that made your heart flutter. "Do you want me to accompany you?" 

You didn't expect for him to say that, given that you knew his attitude. You're not used to someone comforting you, you lived alone for a few years and you felt ecstatic that you have someone to ask you if you feel alright when you wake up screaming in the middle of the night.

He didn't want to be that involved with you but something about you makes him interested. At this very moment, he felt like he needed to protect you.

"Okay."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> soooooo, well there's that hahahahhaha levi is getting kind of involved already so what do u think?


	4. Talk

You sat on the chair at the balcony as you puff your cigarette. You coughed a little as you smell the smoke, your thumb flicking the end of the cigarette as the spent ashes fall on the ash tray. You just stare at the people walking at the street. Levi isn't home right now and you didn't want to ask where he's going. It's none of your business, you thought.

So far, you're already getting used of having a roommate. Despite of his not so pleasant attitude, he's a good housemate to have. He cleans and he cooks. Well, you help him sometimes but he said he prefers it his own way, so you sometimes just roll your eyes at him. But you're kind of stubborn so you still help him clean.

Of course, you also do your fair share of houseworks. You don't want him doing all of the work.

"Hey." you jumped a little bit when you heard a voice from your back. You glared at Levi. You didn't notice him come in.

"Don't do that." you said as you pressed the end of the cigarette on your lips, inhaling and exhaling the fumes. "You want?"

He didn't answer as he pick up the box of cigarette and got one for himself, he placed it on his lips. "Light me up."

You placed the lighter near the cigarette and flicked the button. "We have an unhealthy bonding." you said as you chuckled.

"At least we're bonding." he said as he puff his cigarette, his back leaning on the railing. You looked at him as he smokes, you can't help but think that he's attractive. He's wearing an oversized black plaid shirt, white t-shirt and black jeans. It's simple but he looked so elegant.

You remembered the night that he accompanied you in the balcony after you woke up screaming.

You didn't actually talked that night. He just sat beside you while you silently cry. You hated yourself for letting him see your vulnerable state, you cried your eyes out to a person you didn't even knew that much.

"I want to ask you something." you said as you look at the city lights, your arms rests on the railings while your chin rests on your arms. He looks at you while your eyes flash a dreamy look.

"What?"

"Am I a good roommate?"

"Given that we're getting along well, I'd say that you are." you nodded. You looked at him and crossed your legs as you lean your back on the chair. He raised his eyebrows at you.

"Can I ask you bunch of questions? You can ask me too." you grinned at him. "Please? You're living here for almost a month now. You know I can count the times we've talked on my fingers in one hand."

He scoffed at you. "That's absurd, brat. We've talked more than that."

Your brows raised a little as you heard the little nickname. But you choose not to say something about it.

"Oh yeah? That's not actually talking. You're just asking if I ate already or what do I want to eat. Then you won't talk again and read your book, or whatever."

You wanted to tweak your hair for sounding so needy. "What do you want to know?"

Your face lit up as you put out your cigarette and sit properly. Now that you think about it. You don't know what to ask him. "Uh.." you scratched your head. "What's your favorite color?" you asked hesitantly.

You know that your question is lame. "Really?" he looked at you as if he's judging your entirety.

You stand by your question even if it embarrasses you. "Just answer."

He sighed as he answered. "White."

"Why?"

"Really? You're sticking to this question?"

"Will you just answer?" you rolled your eyes at him, trying to keep your tough face as if you're not embarrassed. There's really nothing embarrassing about your question, it's just that he looks at you with an expression that you should be ashamed of your question.

He sighed loudly as he said the reason, "Because it looks clean. You happy now?"

"Oh, you clean freak!" you let out a laugh and he frowned at you. "Okay, another question."

"It's my turn." he said as he pulled a chair to sit near you. You felt weird with the sudden closeness but you shrugged it off. It's probably nothing.

So, you're taking turns. Huh.

"Do you feel happy right now?" you were taken a back by his question. Do you?

Before Levi came, you have Petra to keep you occupied. You enjoy her company and sure she made you happy when you're with her. But when you come home, you suddenly feel this loneliness strikes you, reminding you that you're alone.

"Right at this moment?" you asked and he nodded. "I guess I am."

"How do you say so?"

"It's because..." you're thinking if you're going to say it. It'll look like you're depending your happiness to other people but then, when did you ever find happiness in yourself?

Before you met Petra, you had no one. You didn't even know that you could be happy. When you're by yourself you let your sorrow consume you. But you grew up not receiving the love and support you were supposed to.

"Because?"

"You're here." you said as you look away. You feel like crying and breaking down. "I never really felt happy when I'm alone."

"Why?"

You looked at him. He noticed the subtle tears fall down your cheeks. "I.."

"It's fine if you don't want to say it. I'll never force you to anything you don't like."

Your heart soften as soon as you heard him say that. You wiped your tears and smiled at him. "I probably look weak and fragile to you."

"I can't say that. I didn't even know what shit you went through." you just nodded as you light another cigarette.

As much as he wants to ask you, he respects your privacy. He knows his limits. "How about you? Are you happy?"

He leaned his back on the chair as his body relax. "Maybe. I enjoy your presence."

...

You woke up feeling pretty delighted. You spent all your night talking to your roommate. You didn't expect for him to stay up late just to talk to you. You knew him a little better, you didn't see him as a distant and i-ll mannered person anymore. Though sometimes he's unfiltered, you just learn to live with it because it's part of his personality and you just know now that there's more to him.

Though you just learned that they own a big business in Sina. He didn't specify what business. He's an only child. He didn't say anything about his parents and neither did you. All he got from you is that you moved in Karanes, three years ago. When you were 18. He didn't ask why.

And you're grateful for that. He just listens to what you have to say.

You also told him that your only friends are Petra, Sasha and Jean. And, oh, he's part of it now too.

"No. I don't care. Shut the fuck up.." you heard him groaned as he stand on the balcony outside with his phone on his ear. "No. How many times should I tell you, you shit? Is your brain functioning well? Who would want to—"

You don't want to listen but the apartment is small and he's voice is kind of loud.

"Mom." his voice seems to soften. "No. Give him the phone back. Fine, tell that old geez- man, tell the old man to fucking- to shut up. Bye." he said as he ended the call.

You just sat at the couch as you look at him. He finally turned his back and saw you staring at him. "How long were you there?"

"Not long." he just let out an irritated sigh as he walk to his room. You wanted to ask him but it didn't feel right to do so. 

You left a note at the refrigerator that you'll be going to work. You didn't want to knock on his door because he looks like his not in the mood right now. You walked your way out of your apartment into the tea shop where you work. 

"Hey, Aria!" Sasha greeted you as soon as you came in. As usual, the shop is empty. You smiled at her.

"Hey, Sasha. No customers, huh?"

"You know how it is." she said as she yawned. You're wondering if your boss would consider making this place a tea shop with a lounge for people to hang out instead of just selling loose leaf for the customer to take home. 

Time passed and you walked to your apartment, you stop by on the mailboxes on the first floor. You opened yours and you saw another white envelope. You look inside, money. Again.

You rolled your eyes as you put the envelope in your bag and you entered the elevator to get to your unit. 

As you enter, you saw Levi doing something on his personal computer, he's sitting on the dining table with his usual calm expression. He's wearing a plain white shirt and a gray shorts.

"Why do you look attractive in that.." you whispered to yourself. He looked at you.

"Did you say something?"

You were caught off guard. "Nothing. I said I'm home." he just looked at you with a suspicious look and you gave him a smile as you head towards your bedroom.

You have the hots for your roommate, you woman. 

"Since when do I.." you murmured.

Oh, this is bad. This is so bad. 

"But.. it's just a crush. Is there something wrong with that?" you asked yourself. You sighed as you sat on your desk and got the key for the drawer underneath the table. You opened it and many more of the envelope is in there. You put the newest one inside and locked the drawer.

You swore to yourself that you wouldn't touch that money. No money can compensate for what you've gone through. 

"Aria." you saw Levi standing in front of your door. You looked at him and there goes your pounding heart.

You cursed yourself. "Yes?"

"I ordered pizza. Do you want some?" 

...

"You actually talk with him? And he talks to you?" Petra asked once again. You sighed with annoyance as you nod once again. "Huh. So, you're friends?"

"Yes, Petra."

"But why? And you have a crush on him?"

You keep telling yourself that you don't but your heart keeps going crazy whenever he's around, so what's the point of denying it? 

"You got a crush?" Jean suddenly appeared with your orders. You pouted at them. "Who?"

"Her roommate." Petra said playfully, teasing you. You kind of regretting that you told Petra. "You know I'm not friends with my roommate but we're civil with each other."

"But why? You live with her and you should be in good terms with her."

"I didn't say we're in bad terms. It's just that we're not that involved, like you." Petra gave you a playful smirk. 

"How about you Jean, what do you think?" you asked Jean who's still standing in front of your table.

"I don't know. But what if you confessed to him and ended up getting rejected? That's harsh and.. awkward." 

You scoffed. "Who says I'll confess? It's just a good old crush, it's nothing."

"Okay. You say that now." Jean said as he walk away. 

Crush, just a crush. It's harmless.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> our aria's got a crush on her roommate hohoho


	5. Care

You glanced at Levi who's listening intently at the discussion. You were not surprised, he's a good student and he is doing all the task on time. At first, you thought he's just as lazy as your are but you were wrong in there. "You like him that much?" 

You rolled your eyes as soon as you heard Petra's voice in your ear. You looked away from Levi and focused on the speaker in front. Now, you're a hundred percent regretting that you told her.

"Leave me alone, Ral." Petra snorted as she continued to tease you. You scratched your head with irritation as Petra laughs at you.

"What do you even like about him? I can't read his face, like does he ever smile?"

"Petra. I don't know what to tell you. Now please, would you leave me alone?"

She surrendered and stopped pestering you. It's not that big deal for you, you're sure that your little crush would fade away. "You wanna hang out at the coffee shop later?" you asked Petra.

"Can't. I need to shop for some new clothes. Eld invited me on the new nightclub that opened in Stohess." Petra sometimes go to bars or nightclubs with her other friends. She never bothered to invite you because she knows that you don't like loud and crowded places. "Unless you want to go shopping with me?"

"I don't have any money for that. What would I do? Just follow you around?" you laughed. She smiled. 

"Yeah. How about tomorrow?" you nodded.

The first class ended early and you were left alone in the field, Petra had to do something with her organization. You just sat alone the bench underneath the tree as you see different groups of students training for sports that you don't care about.

You looked at the time and you still have an hour and a half before your next class. "What should I do.." you said to yourself as you stare at the grass.

"Read a book." you were startled by the voice. You looked at Levi as he sat beside you.

There it goes again. His presence started to tense you. Your heart leaps in unexplainable ways. It's just a plain crush but why do you feel like this? He's been with you for just a month but he's making you feel all sorts of things.

"I'm not really fond of books." you answered and he just hummed. 

"That's fine." 

"Do you like.." you paused and looked away from him. "Do you like girls who reads books?" you asked with a low shy voice.

You just want to run away and pretend that you never knew him. You seemed like a high school girl, what would you do? Read some book so that he'll like you? You wanted to punch yourself for asking such a stupid question.

But you're kind of nervous, you're kind of looking forward to what his answer would be. "Why do you ask?"

"Nothing. Just curious. Eh, just pretend that I didn't ask you." you felt awkward. "How about you, what are you doing in here? Why don't you read some books in the library.." you ask him as you open your bottle to drink some water.

"There's people having sex in the corner where they keep the book that I want to read."

You immediately spit the water out of your mouth as you cough. He said it so casually.

"Then.. get another book." he gave you a _forget about it_ look. "So, you'll just hang out with me?"

He nodded. You suddenly felt giddy, you bit your lip to stop yourself from smiling. "Have you made any new friends?"

"Erwin and Hange, do you know them?" you were surprised, you don't actually know them personally, you knew them because they're kind of popular. And you're wondering how did Levi actually talk to them.

"How did you.. they're kind of popular here." he scoffed. 

"Erwin's my friend in Yarckel and he moved here in Karanes when we were kids, he's one of the reason why I moved here." 

Your eyes and mouth opened a little as he tell you. So, that's why.

"Then why don't you hang out with them?" your voice hinted with curiosity, Levi usually hates it when people asks him too many questions. But he felt none of that if you're the one asking, he's actually willing to answer your questions. 

"Hange keeps on asking me to go with them in that new nightclub in Stohess but I don't want to. I needed a little rest from her shitty babbling." you nodded, some things that you notice about Hange when you pass her by the hallway is that she's bubbly and carefree. She once smiled to you when she caught you looking at her. 

"My friend is going there tonight." 

"So, you're going?" you glanced at him when he asked you. 

"Would you go If I go?"

You suddenly ask him. You're not even planning on going but you thought it would be nice if you hang out and see Levi in other places rather than the apartment and your university. You don't even like crowded places but you're willing to try anything new with him.

Are you really that interested to him? You ask yourself. You don't even know. "I might consider."

He didn't even like partying that much but he felt the same with you, he's willing to come out of his comfort zone to try new things. 

"Okay." you murmured. "I'll go."

"Alright, I'll go too."

...

"What? So, you'll go with me because he's going?" you can see the wary in Petra's eyes. "Aria Reed, are you falling for that man?" Petra scolded you.

You're not.. you think.

"I'm not. I just want to try." 

You don't, you just want to because he's going.

She gave you a sullen look before she agreed. "Fine. But just stick with me, alright? If something's wrong just tell me." you gave her your brightest smile.

"I'll go to your apartment later to lend you some clothes."

You just nodded excitedly but you're also nervous because well, it's your first time.

Later that night, Petra stopped by your apartment to help you choose your outfits. Since you don't have any outfits for night outs she'll lend you some. She also insisted to pay for your drinks since it's your first time, she said. You argued but you gave up because your friend is a stubborn one.

"Okay, try these on." 

She gave you all sorts of dress and pants to try on but you wanted the black fitted cropped top that has a long sleeves and you partnered it with a black palazzo pants. And you finished it off with black velvet block heels.

"You're so pretty." Petra said and she flashed you her dreamy eyes. She styled your wavy black hair a bit and she put on a little bit of make up on you. "I think I might have a crush on you." she jokingly said.

"Don't flatter me so much, Ral."

You heard a knock on your door and Levi's voice. "I'll go ahead with Erwin. I'll see you there."

Petra looked at you with her maliciously playful look. You just stuck your tongue out at her before opening the door. You saw Levi and he's wearing a black turtle neck tucked into his black high waisted wide-leg pants. He partnered it with an oversized black blazer coat. 

Hot. Hot and so damn good looking.

"You look good." you suddenly said, when you realize what you said, your eyes widened. You heard Petra snorted. 

He was taken aback at what you said but then he immediately concealed his expression.

"Likewise." he simply said. "See you, Aria."

You just nodded and closed the door. Your face flashed the biggest smile as soon as you faced Petra. "You fell, Reed. Hard." 

You ignored what Petra said and sighed. You're starting to think that it isn't just a simple crush.

...

The loud music and wild people greeted you as soon as you entered the club. Petra's hand never left your wrist until you reached the VIP area on the second floor. Your eyes immediately searched for Levi as soon as you sat on your table. "I saw him with Erwin and Hange right there." 

Petra told you and pointed their direction. "I'm not.. looking for him."

"Fool anyone else, Aria. Not me." Petra gave you her cheeky look. "Anyways, Eld's not here yet. Excuse me!" Petra shouted and raised her hand and one of the service staff came to your direction, Petra then ordered some tequila shots.

She winked at you, "We're gonna get fuuuucked!"

You shook your head. It's your first time seeing this side of Petra. 

You rolled your eyes at her and slowly looked at Levi's direction. He's just sitting there with a glass on his hand. You gave him a smile as soon as your eyes met. 

He whispered something to Erwin and he stood up to walk towards your direction. "Hey."

"Hi." you greeted him as he sat beside you. "What do you got there?"

"Whiskey."

You're running out of things to say. His presence makes you feel charged. You're feeling nervous and giddy all together. You feel like your drunk even if you're not drinking anything yet.

And it suddenly hit you, yes, you are falling. You're falling for this man. 

You didn't know what to do, the service staff came with the tray of tequila shots and you grabbed one glass immediately and drank it.

"Aria, oh my god!" Petra exclaimed, Levi looked at you with wide eyes. Like _what the hell were you thinking?!_ look.

You're not thinking. You can't even think. Your mind is wrapped around the man who's sitting beside you.

"Fuck that was hot!" you exclaimed as you feel the liquid graze in your throat. You coughed and you felt Levi tap your back. You felt some kind of shock lurch through your whole body when his hand came in touch with you.

"What the fuck.." his instinct suddenly kicked in. "Are you planning to get drunk?"he scowled.

"I'm planning to have fun..?" you gave him a mischievous grin. You feel your heart race when you noticed that he's still touching you. You looked at Petra and she gave you a sly smirk. 

"Just.. slow down, alright?" his voice hinted with worry and it turned your stomach upside down. You hate this. You hate that you love this feeling. You reached for another glass and drank it.

"Come on, Petra! I thought we're gonna get fucked?!" you said ignoring what Levi said. Petra laughed at you and grabbed a drink for herself. You heard Levi muttered a curse, "Come on, Levi. Loosen up."

"Who'll look after you, brat? I doubt your friend will since you'll _gonna get fucked._ Right?" he stated clearly mocking what you said earlier. 

"I didn't ask you to look after me." you raised your brows at him.

Right, you didn't. But he wants to.

"Tch." his jaw clenched and he gave you a dead serious look. "I'm doing this because I want to."

"Why would you want to look after me?" 

"I just want to. Can you just.. just because. Okay?"

Petra leaned her back on the couch as she relax herself watching the both of you. "Fine." you said as you turn to Petra.

After a lot, yes, a lot of drinks you felt light-headed as you laughed your ass out with Petra. Her other friends came earlier but they're on the dance floor right now with her. You're left at the couch with Levi.

"You're a weird drunk." Levi told you and you giggled at him. "What the hell are you laughing at?"

"I don't know! It's just fuuuunnyyyy." Levi scratched his head with annoyance as he looks intently at you. "Come on, just laugh. I think.. I never see you laugh or smile." 

You held his cheeks and stretched it out to form his lips a smile. If it is other people he'll probably yank the hand out of his face and curse the life out of you but he didn't. 

He pulled your hands gently out of his face. "That's enough alcohol for you."

You pouted at him. "But why? It's fuuuuun!"

You know what you're doing. You know you're drunk. You know you're doing all sorts of crazy right now.

"Levi."

"What?"

"I think you're so fucking handsome. Why.. why are you like that? Are you some greek god from Olympus? Do you even have some flaw in any part of your.. Nooope. I bet you don't." you frowned at him as you relax yourself on the couch, leaning your back and crossing your arms and legs while staring at Levi.

Levi is suppressing his smile as he look away from you. He composed himself and looked at you again. "Aria, do you have some sort of crush on me?"

You raised your eyebrow and gave him a confident look on your face, "What do _you_ think?"

"I think you have."

"Well, you caught me." you laughed. "Yeah. I have."

"Come on, let's get you home." Levi stood up to help you stand up. "You've had enough."

He was about to assist you but then you touched his arm. "I bet you don't like me. Do you? Levi, do you like me too?"

"What do you think?"

Of course, he likes you too. From the way he looks and cares about you. By letting you do things that he doesn't let other people do. Heck, you even made him come in here.

"I don't know, you tell me." you stare at Levi with wistful glint in your eyes. Levi bent over and gave your forehead a little kiss as he held your cheek.

You felt all the rush flow through you. You didn't care about the people and the loud music, you didn't care and you pressed your lips into his as you close your eyes. His hand moved from your cheek to your nape as he respond to your kiss. 

Suddenly, something hits your mind. You opened your eyes and pushed him. You bit your lip as you stood up immediately and you felt dizzy. Levi hurriedly wrap his arms around your waist. "I'm sorry.." you whispered. "I can't.."

"It's alright." he said with a caring voice. You buried your face in his chest as tears fall from your eyes.

"Levi.. I'm.. dirty. I.. how could you kiss me? I'm a disgusting piece of shit.."

All the memories came rushing to your mind. All the pain and torment came back.

Levi looked at you with a confused face. "You're not, Aria. You're not."

"But I am.. I'm a fucking piece of garbage. I loathe myself, Levi." you sobbed as you said the words that gave Levi devastation. "Take me home, please.."

He just nodded and he walked to Erwin and Hange's table with you clinging onto him while crying like a little child. "Hange, I need your car. Just go with Erwin."

Hange and Erwin looked at you. "What happened to her?" Hange asked with a worry hinted on her voice. "Did you make her cry?!"

"No, shitty glasses. Just give me your fucking keys." 

Hange sighed and gave her keys to Levi. "Take care." Erwin said and Levi just nodded.

He carefully guided you down the stairs and as soon as you step on the first floor, Petra noticed you and immediately went to your direction. "What happened to her?"

"She just cried suddenly. I'm going to take her home." Petra's eyes glinted with worry. She walked with you and Levi to the parking lot. Levi held you carefully as you sat at the passenger seat and put the seatbelt on for you then he sat on the driver's seat. 

"Text me if you got home, Aria. Okay?" you just nodded at her. She closed the door and Levi started to drive away. Levi can't keep his eyes on the road, he's glancing at you over and over as you just stare out the window. 

One specific thought came to his mind as to why you're so disgusted by yourself. And that made him so damn mad, he thinks that no one deserves to go through that. If what he thinks is right.

Levi parked in front of the apartment building as he supported you out of the car. You didn't say any single word as you walk up to your apartment.

"Aria." Levi called for you and you ignored him. You focused on getting yourself in the shower.

You went to the bathroom and Levi followed you, worried that you might do something. You didn't care if he sees you, you removed your clothes leaving your undergarments.

He instantly looked away.

You looked at Levi as tears fall from your eyes, "Look at me." you said weakly.

His heart broke into pieces as he saw the vertical scars near your ribs and right lower abdomen. "This is who I am, Levi. Do you still like me? Do you still want to kiss me and touch me?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> petra and aria is kind of wild in here lol hahahahaha so what do u think abt this chapter lemme knoooow


	6. Touch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi, this chapter includes abuse such as manipulation, physical violence and non-con. i know it can be uncomfortable for some of you so i just want to warn u, ok? read at your own risk.
> 
> love u all, here u go.

note: so i made a floor plan of levi and aria's apartment, as well as their bedrooms to help ur imagination hehe. here it is <333 

* * *

Levi slowly walks towards you. You didn't move and you just stood there, exposing yourself to him.

"Can I touch you?" he asks you softly once he reached you.

You looked right at his eyes, you're expecting that he'll be disgusted at you. You expect him to turn his back on you. You were lead to believe that no one would ever touch and look at you without distaste.

Everyday back then, you're always reminded that you're disgusting, used and broken. And that no one will love you once they knew that you're a spent useless stupid bitch.

Up until now, you still think that. You still think that you're a damaged good who deserve all of the bullshit that she went through.

For the past three years, you try to keep this tough facade up. But the truth is, you're unmotivated. You don't even bother to feed yourself properly. You don't buy food and you drown yourself with cigarettes and alcohol.

That's before when Levi came, he has something in him that makes you driven, that makes you want to open up yourself to him. Make him know you, the real you.

"You're beautiful, Aria. Everything about you is beautiful."

Your body fell on the ground as you weep. Levi knelt in front of you and held your chin, he directed your face upward as he wipe your tears. He sat down on the bathroom floor as he pulled you close to his body, cradling you in his arms.

Is this what it feels? To be held in someone's arms knowing that you'll be safe? Is this it?

If this is what it feels, you'd like to stop the time and stay in his arms forever.

"He hit me with a baseball bat.." your voice is hoarse as you speak. "He kicked me over and over.."

Levi didn't speak but he held you tightly as his heart break, hearing your whimpering as you tell him the morbid story. "He used me until I can't move and he broke one of my legs so that I wouldn't get away."

You want to be free. That's what you want. You got away but you never really did feel free. The times that you scream and cry, it feels like it happened yesterday.

The times your mind brings you back to that horrible scene.

This is the first time that you actually said out loud what happened to you. Petra knew you were raped and abused but you never really said the exact details to her.

That's why she was worried about you all the time.

You avoided talking about it because you wanted to be free but concealing it all inside makes you even more locked up.

"You don't have to-"

"He's my father, Levi. And he did things to me, I grew up thinking that, that was alright." you said cutting off Levi. Something snapped in Levi. Something he locked away a long time ago opened and came across his mind.

_"Levi, what did you do?" Kuchel asked Levi with terror. She looked at him with horror as her eyes widened at the sight. "Oh, Levi."_

_Kuchel ran to her son as she pulled him, cold tears falling from her eyes when she realized what he had done._

_"You're safe now, Mom.."_

Levi carried your body in his strong arms as he move you into your bedroom.

"Levi.." you whispered, your head is spinning because of the crying and all of the liquor that you ingested earlier.

"Hmm?" you looked up to his face while your arm cling around his neck, he gently put you down and went to your closet to get you some clothes. You stared at him while he ran through your clothes, trying to pick something comfortable for you.

"Why are you doing this? Why are you caring for me?"

You didn't even know why you easily trusted Levi. You think, maybe the fact that you're longing for a touch and affection made you attach yourself easily to him. But as you look at him, you know that it's more than that. You're coming to be fond with who he really is.

Levi didn't answer you as he walk towards you. "Come on, sit for a while. I'll put this on you."

He assisted you to sit up from your bed. "You know what I really want?" you speak as he put on the t-shirt on you. "To be free. To have answers."

"Answers?" he asked as he finish putting the shirt on you.

"Yes, answers. I didn't know why he did that. Why my own father did that to me.." you lay down as you pulled the blanket up your body. "Why did my mother let him do that to me?"

Tears still fall from your cheeks but you're calm now. Levi just sat on the edge of the bed while listening, eyes etched on you.

_You woke up and looked at your whole body. It's full of bruises. You try to stand up but your body aches so much. You can't move your legs, you closed your eyes tightly shut as you felt the pain. You cried your eyes out. You want to get away, you need to._

_You opened your eyes when you heard a voice._

_"Don't worry, your leg would heal. I just broke it for a while so you wouldn't get away from me." you looked at the man standing near the door. You looked at him with terror in your eyes. "Please, get away from me." you pleaded as he walk towards you._

_He slapped your already bruised cheeks. "What did you say?"_

_"Nothing.. I'm.. I'm sorry." you stuttered. Tears fell from your eyes as he touched your cheeks, he went from being soft to harsh._

_"Don't you tell me what to do, you bitch."_

_He touched your injured leg with pressure. You screamed in pain. "Please! Please! No!"_

_He saw your pleading eyes, he lets go of your leg and sat on the edge of the bed. "Aria."_

_"You know why I'm doing this?" his voice suddenly became calm. He wiped your tears. Your body is shaking as his hands touch your cheeks, you shook your head as response to his question._

_"Because you're a reminder. You're a reminder of my failure."_

_Reminder of his failure?_

_"Why.. what.." his hands clench as he became agitated once again. As if he remembered something. He pulled your hair roughly. "Please.. I'm sorry.." your voice cracked._

_"Am I a bad person?" he asked you while looking straight at your eyes. "I'm not, I take care of you sometimes, right? You're just being a fucking bitch right now that's why I need to broke your leg.."_

_You nodded with fear in your eyes. "So do you understand that you deserve this?"_

_"Y-yes."_

_No, you don't understand. You don't understand why any of this is happening. You don't understand why you're the reminder of his failure._

_You look at the door and you saw a woman standing there. "M-mom.."_

_You don't understand why your mother isn't doing anything to save you from this hell._

_Your voice longs for your mother. You wanted to feel her touch. You wanted her to take care of you. To tell you that she loves you._

_"Mom.." you called once again, she just looked at you and started to walk away. Your heart broke into million pieces._

_"She won't go near you, Aria. You know that."_

_But why?_

_..._

Your head fucking hurts.

You sit up slowly as you held your aching head. You feel like your head is splitting into two. You tried to remember what you did last night. You remember laughing a lot with Petra.

"I did.. touch his cheeks?" you whispered trying to recollect your memories of last night. You rubbed your hands on your face as you remember the embarrassing drunk confession to him. You touched your lips as your mind wanders to your kiss with him. "Fuck."

"You're awake."

You were startled when your heard his voice. You saw him holding a tray with a bowl and a glass of water. "Levi."

Your voice suddenly got shy. You also remember telling him what you went through.

"Drink this first." he handed you the cold water and you immediately drink it.

"I was probably a handful, huh?" you asked him shyly as he place the tray on your side table. "I'm sorry, I didn't expect I would be like that."

"It's fine." he sat on the edge of the bed. "Aria.. do you remember what you told me last night? About your.." he paused and you looked at him with shame written all over your face.

"I remember."

You're scared and ashamed but you felt a little relieved, opening up to someone what you've hidden away and tried to forget.

You want the haunting memories to stop. You thought that locking it up and never talking about it would help all the agony to disappear.

"If you want me to just forget about it... I'll.." he's contemplating what to tell you. He can never forget something that big, he wants to be there for you. Even if you don't ask him too.

He can't imagine the pain that you went through and for you to lock it all up inside, it must be painful, he thought. "You must think that I'm weak and fragile now, huh?"

"No, I don't think that." he said as he tuck your stray hair behind your ears. "I think that you're strong, Aria. You made a new life in here, on your own. You got away. You made new friends.."

Your heart felt happy. You never felt like this before. "And I'm willing to help you. Even little by little. I'd be here for you."

He would never pressure you to do something you don't want. If you want to take it slow, he'll wait until you're ready.

"You'd do that for me?"

He would. He really would.

"I'll do everything for you."

...

"How's your head?" you saw Levi sitting on the couch while reading another book again. After your talk with him in the morning he let you sleep again. Luckily, you don't have any classes in the morning but you have work in the afternoon. 

"Still throbbing." you said as you walk to the dining table slowly, your head is pulsating as you sat down on the chair. "I want to sleep in my bed all day."

"Then sleep." he closed the book with his index finger still inside to mark the page he was reading then he glanced at you. 

He saw you, head down on the table as you grip your hair, cursing yourself for drinking too much.

"But I need to go to work." 

"Just tell them you're not feeling well." Levi placed the book on the center table then he stood up and walked to your direction. He placed a gentle hand on your shoulders. "Do you want something to eat?"

You gave him a small smile, "I just remembered. You didn't answer my question last night."

"What question?"

"Do you like me too?" Levi groaned and gave you a deadpan expression. "What? You're acting like this but you didn't actually tell me. That's unfair, Levi." you teased him.

You didn't know where you got this sudden confidence. You think that you already showed him most of yourself, so you tried to be more comfortable about the confession.

"Isn't it obvious?" you pursed your lips as your brows formed a frown. "What? Do you want me to say it?"

Levi isn't good at saying what he feels out loud. He's more of a touch your cheek, kiss your forehead, tap your shoulder or pat your head kind of person. In short, he likes to show his feelings through physical affection. 

He rarely shows emotion to anyone. He comes off as unsympathetic and cold but his close friends knows that he's sensitive and caring, including you. You know that he's more than a harsh unfiltered man. He only keeps people who he trust and you're lucky you're one of them. 

"Yes, I want to hear it from you."

He looked away and gulped as he lands his eyes on you once again, "Fine. I like you too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what do ya thinkkkkkkk lemme know in the comments <3


	7. City Lights

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is more of a fluff chapter, u know just levi and aria being a cuddly couple cos who doesn't love seeing soft levi hihi <3

It's one of those nights again. You waking up screaming and crying. But now, you're not alone. You're with Levi.

He immediately went to your room. Luckily, he was still up reading and he heard your pained and scared yelp.

"I'm here. I'm here." he's figuring out if you want to be touched. You noticed that he stopped himself from placing a hand on your shoulder.

"Hold me, Levi." you said as you scoot over for him to sit beside you. He sat down beside you as he wrapped his tender arms around your shoulder. You leaned on his chest, you feel him placing a gentle kiss on your hair.

It's been a two months since you confessed your feelings to each other. But he isn't your boyfriend.. yet.

You agreed to take it slow and get to know each other better. Petra scoffed at you when you told her that. She said that what's the point of taking it slow, when you're living on the same roof. And like you always do when she says something ridiculous, you rolled your eyes on her.

Though, she's not wrong that you're living together.

"It's your first time in a month. It's not as often as before. That's good." he said as he caress your hair.

Ever since you opened up yourself to him, your attacks has been getting rare. You thought that maybe opening up to him helped you free yourself just a little.

And that's already a big step for you. You're thankful because Levi has been amazing and caring.

"Yeah." you whispered as you snuggle into him. You can feel his heart beat from his chest. And oddly, that makes you calm.

"Do you want to go to the balcony?"

You shook your head. Your sick of seeing the same scenery over and over again. "I don't. I'm getting kind of tired seeing drunk people walking down the streets." you let out a small laugh.

You felt his chest move as he huff a breath. "Come on. Get dressed."

You looked at him with a frown. "Why?"

"Just get dressed. Just casual, you can just wear your jacket over that." he pointed your clothes, you just shrugged to yourself as you stood up. "Be ready in 5 minutes." he said as he walk out of your room to go to his.

You're wondering were would he take you at 1 am but you just followed him and get yourself dressed. You're wearing a white spaghetti strap tank top so you just wore a gray jacket and a boyfriend shorts. And you wore a white sneakers.

You went out of your room and you saw Levi is already changed into a kind of oversized hoodie and a chino shorts.

He's wearing a simple clothing but you're breath is taken away from you. You smiled as you saw him, sitting on the arm rest of the couch while holding his car keys.

By the way, the car that he bought, still kind of expensive. You shook your head in disbelief when you saw his car. "Let's go." he said.

You were about to step out of the door when he called you, you turn around to look at him. "Hmm?" you hummed.

"You look beautiful."

You bit your lips to stop from smiling but it's too late. "Pfft. Come on, Levi." you laid out your hand to him and he held it, interlocking your fingers together until you reach his car on the curb.

...

The car window is open as Levi drove through the main road, there's not much cars since it's midnight. He glanced at you and his heart melts when he saw your smiling face, touching the cold wind as your hair sway through the air.

"Are we going to Yarckel?" you asked him as you saw the signage that your a few miles away from Sina.

Your voice hinted an excited tone. You've only been to Sina once, and that's when you went to the nightclub in Stohess two months ago. According to Petra, Yarckel is where the most sophisticated buildings are. Your mouth will drop once you step foot in that place, she said.

Now, you're wondering what Mitras will look like, if Yarckel is already a mouth dropping sight.

He just nodded and continued to drive. You let out a brightest and anticipated smile.

You were left slack-jawed once you entered Yarckel. You can see multiple high rise buildings with an oddly beautiful architectural structures. Levi stopped the car as you reached a diner.

"We went to Yarckel for fries and burgers? Really?" You looked at him with astonishment. He rolled his eyes at you as he pat your head.

"No, idiot."

You glared at him. "Then what?"

"We're going somewhere. We're just stopping by to get some food."

You didn't argue anymore and just followed him as he order food. "Do you eat here often before you moved?"

He simply nodded as you both wait in line. You cling your arm on his, "It's beautiful in here. Why did you move? Are you perhaps running away from a crazy ex-girlfriend?" you joked and you see him give you a _that's ridiculous_ look. Your nose crinkled as you give him a half-smile.

"Look at this place. I would probably live in here." your face brightened as your eyes wander around the beautiful establishment, the corner of his mouth turned up slightly as he watch your eyes sparkle.

He can feel his heart beat almost coming out of his chest. You really got him smitten at the simple things that you do. You're the first one who made him feel like this and he's hoping that you'll be the only and last to do so.

He was irked about romance and stuffs about relationships before. But all of that came out of the window once he met you. He's had flings before but never once crossed his mind to take one of them seriously.

"Hello! I'm Hitch, may I take your order?" the woman at the counter said as she flash you both a smile.

Levi said the orders. "Is that all, Sir?"

"That's all what I said, right?" Levi answered and you rolled your eyes. You hit Levi softly in the arm. He looked at you with a creased forehead. "What?" he mouthed.

You scratched your nape as your face scrunched up because of Levi's uncalled for rudeness.

You gave Hitch an apologetic smile and she just faked a smile at Levi. "All right, please wait at the claiming area. We'll call you when your order is ready."

You pulled Levi at the claiming area, "Why are you so rude?"

"It's just irritating." you looked at him with displeased face as you exhaled noisily with a pursed lips. You just let it go and waited for your order.

You claimed your order and your eyes squint slightly as your cheeks rise when he held your hand while walking out the door of the diner.

Levi is clingy and you love it.

You're on the road once again and your hands are still intertwined with Levi as he drove with one hand. You looked at Levi and you saw his calm face but you could see a hint of happiness in his eyes.

"Why are you staring at me?" he asked, eyes still focused on the road.

"It's because you're good-looking."

Levi masked his giddy emotion by scoffing and giving you a stoic expression. You looked at him with a teasing expression. He lets go of your hand as you reach a high rise building. A man opened the door for you as Levi went out by himself.

The man seemed to be surprised, his face dropped from being calm. "Mr. Ackerman."

"Don't tell Kenny I'm here." he said as he gave the man an ice cold stare and hand him his keys. Levi then held your hand as you walk to the entrance of the big, elegant and mouth dropping hotel.

"Do your.. your family owns this?"

You suddenly felt small. You're thinking that you should've put on more decent clothes than what you're wearing.

Levi didn't answer your question as he continue to walk at the elevator.

"Sir-" the receptionist stood up to stop Levi and you but her face went pale when she saw Levi. "Mr. Ackerman.." the receptionist's eyes widen.

You're kind of feeling weird because they keep calling Levi, Mr. Ackerman. You just shrugged it off.

"If you tell Kenny I was here I would make sure that you won't have a job the next day, you got that?" Levi casually said as he continue to walk while you just follow him. He didn't even spare her a glance.

Your mouth dropped as you shake your head, your eyes flashed a dismayed look. You're kind of scared for the employees here if they blabbed to that Kenny.

"So.. who's that Kenny and why don't you want him to know that you're here?" you asked as soon as you entered the elevator.

His face went blank. "My uncle. He's been pestering me to come home."

"Is he the one who you're talking to that time on the balcony?"

He slightly bend his head on the side as the side of his eyes quirk up trying to remember what you're talking about. "That time, when I woke up.. You were telling someone to shut up on the phone.."

"Oh. Yeah, I was talking to him."

The elevator ride was kind of long, considering that this is a big ass building. The elevator dinged and the rooftop greeted you as soon as the elevator opened.

Your breath was taken away as your mouth opened at the sight of the city lights. "Levi.. This is beautiful."

"I knew you'd like it."

You both sat down slightly close to the edge but not too close. You laid out the food and eat as you both admire the beauty of the lights.

"Do you often go here before you move?" he nodded as he place a burger on his mouth.

You feel untroubled as you sit on that roof. It's like all your problems and worries fade away. And it was extra special because you're there with Levi. You moved the food that was between the two of you and moved closer to him.

You got his arm and wrapped it around your shoulder as you lean your head on him. He glanced at you and pulled you a little closer to him.

"Thank you, Levi." you move your head upwards as you gave his cheek a little peck.

His heart fluttered when he felt your lips on his face.

He gave you a calm expression as he pat your head gently. That means, you're welcome and he'd do everything just to make you feel happy and comforted.

...

It's already four in the morning.

You're back at Karanes again. If it's possible you'll just live in Yarckel and never leave.

"Thanks again." you said as you stand in front of your door. Levi held your cheeks gently as he kiss your forehead. Your heart leaps at the gesture, you gave him your warmest smile.

"Go to sleep. We still have classes later." you nodded as you close your door. You jumped at your bed and went to sleep with a biggest smile plastered on your face.

Levi also, smiled to himself as he lay on his bed.

After three hours of sleep, you woke up to the loud noise outside, as usual, and the bright rays of sun coming through your window.

Your sleep is kind of short but you thought it was worth it. You walk out of your room and you saw Levi cooking breakfast, you smile as you poor hot coffee into your mug. "Morning." you greeted him as you place your chin on his shoulder.

"Morning." he greeted you back and continued to do what he was doing. You both looked at the door when the bell rang. 

"I got it." you said as you pull away from him, you sip on your coffee first as you went to the door. The color drained out of your face as you open the door.

Your mind went into shock as your body stiff. You can't move. 

"Aria, who's in there?" Levi asked you when he saw you unrelaxed from the opening of the wall. You want to speak but your mouth suddenly become dry. Levi was worried so he hurriedly went to you and he saw a woman.

She looks like you. You gulped as a word came out from your mouth. "M-mom.."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aren't they cute <3


	8. Truth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello, this chapter includes abuse such as physical, emotional, sexual and child abuse. if these kind of things makes you uncomfortable, please don't read it. okay, read at your own risk.

"M-mom.." your voice crack as you stare at the woman in front of you. Levi just stood behind your back. He didn't want to interfere but he stayed if you ever feel uncomfortable. "What are you doing here?"

She immediately hugged you and kissed your hair. "Oh thank god." she whispered. You couldn't move, it's like all of your strength was sucked out of you. The last time you saw her is a week after you moved in Karanes, you had a deal with her that she'll left you alone. To let you move on, you didn't expect for her to come in here again.

Levi was taken aback. He didn't expect for your mother to hug you, given that he knew that she lets your father do horrible things to you.

"Mom." you said once again as she pulled away to cup your cheeks. "Why.. why did you come here?"

"He escaped, Aria." 

It's like a cold water was thrown to your face. Levi was confused. Well, his knowledge about your past is limited. You haven't even told him how you escaped in Shiganshina.

You're now sitting on the couch with your mother. Levi is still beside you, your mother glanced at Levi. "It's okay, he can hear what you have to say." you said to her.

Your mother wanted to ask you who Levi is, or what he is to you. But she guess she's not in the position to question you and act like a mother right now. After what she had done to you. She exhaled and closed her eyes, she opened it once again and you can see tears glistening from her eyes.

"He killed someone from the police. He uh.. he exchanged their clothes. So that he can escape from prison." you were terrified, you're having a hard time processing all of what your mother is saying, "I came here because I thought you'd be the first one.. to uh.."

You'd be the person he'll find first. Your mother was making sure that you were still alive and that you're safe.

"I'm sorry," you looked at Levi when he spoke, his forehead is creased, "Isn't it dangerous for you to come here? What if he followed you?" Levi stated with an abrasive tone. 

You cupped your face with both of your hands, you can feel your eyes wet from the tears. Fear took over your whole mind and body.

"Aria.." you can hear Levi's affectionate voice, he wrapped his arms around your shoulders and pulled you in.

"Aria never answers all my letters. I put some letters in the envelope that I give her." Levi looked at your mother. "I'm sorry, it never crossed my mind that he might follow me. I was worried."

She wanted to embrace you too. But she's thankful now that you have Levi to hold you.

"Mom." you said as you wipe your tears, you looked straight at her with your dull eyes. "Why did you help me before?"

You wanted to know the answer. This is the chance to know all of it. 

"Why did you let my father do that to me?"

She's contemplating whether to tell you the truth or not, but she knows you deserve the truth. Even if it'll hurt you, it will set your mind and heart free. Your mother pulled all the strength she have to tell you the truth.

She exhaled as she look straight into your eyes, you can see the pain and regret in her eyes. "He's not your father, Aria."

Your forehead puckered as you shift uncomfortably in your seat. Your mind is trying to process what have been said. "Not my father? Then who is?"

Your heart is filled with anger and astonishment. 

"He's.. was my husband but he is not your father." she tried to reach for your hand but you avoided her touch that made her heart break, "I'm sorry.."

You let out a breathy laugh, "Sorry? Really?"

She knows damn well that sorry doesn't even begin to make up to what has been done. But that is all she have to offer to you and the truth.

"Aria, please.. Listen to me."

"I am listening, now start talking." you said with stone cold voice. Levi touched your shoulder, telling you that he's there for you.

She looked down as she gather all her breath and then she sighed, "I was.. I was sexually assaulted by my co-worker. And nine months later here you are."

It was also hard for her to tell you what happened to her. But it had to be done.

Your mouth was slightly open as your eyes fill with sorrow. Your fists clenched into a tight ball, "We.. wanted you, Aria. Even if you came from a bad happening. I wanted to kill you the moment I knew.. but he said that maybe we can be your parents.."

You couldn't believe all the things you were hearing. If they wanted you, then why did they hurt you? 

"It was unbelievable at first. He was caring to me about it. He tried to accept you.. he did. He really did."

You bit your lips as your sight begin to blur because of the tears starting to flood your eyes once again. You didn't speak and you let her tell you the harrowing truth. "When you were.." her voice cracked, "When you were 10, something snapped in him. We were fighting. He slapped me.. you ran to me, do you remember?"

It was a bit blur but you can't forget that. That was the first time he laid a hand on you. He slapped your tiny cheeks and pulled you away from your Mom.

And that's when he start to inflict pain on you. He started to be harsh and unforgiving. Just a tiny mistake, you were hit.

"I blamed him for not protecting me. For letting you stay in our life. For taking care of the one thing that reminded me of the.. of that."

_"Mom!" your tiny voice echoed in the room. She looked at you with anger and pain. You ran to her and wrapped your arms around her shoulder._

_You felt a harsh hand pull your arms away. He tossed your body on the other side of the room. You looked at your father's dark eyes, it's like he's not there anymore. He's not the man you grew up with._

_The man who cared for you. He's not there anymore. "D-dad.." he slapped your cheeks._

_"Do you want this?" he asked your mother as he grip your hair. "Do you want me to hurt her?"_

_Your eyes started to well up. You don't understand what is happening._

_"Do you want me to let her feel the pain that you felt? She.. she's a reminder of my failure. Isn't she? She.." he looked at you with frustration. "How many times would you remind me that I'm a failure of a husband?"  
_

_His grip on your hair tighten as he pulled you up to your room._

_Your mother can't do anything, she doesn't even know if she wants to do something. She tried to love you and care for you but seeing you was painful for her. Seeing you feels like she's being killed over and over again._

_..._

_Five years has passed, you're already 15. Your home doesn't feel like home anymore. Your mother doesn't talk to you. You were always beaten up when your father is drunk. Which is almost everyday._

_He hurts you and your mother._

_You tiptoed out of your room with some bruises on your arm. You pass by their room and you saw your father sleeping, you exhaled in relief. You carefully went down the stairs as you look for your mother._

_She's sitting on the couch while sipping her coffee. "Mom.." you whispered._

_She looked at you with her dull eyes. You always try and talk to her but she doesn't respond. You sat beside her and held her hand but she yanked it away._

_"Please.. let's get away from here. Mom, we can go far away from here. Just the both of us."_

_You felt a hand yank your hair. "What the hell do you think you're doing?"_

_He pulled you out of the couch, your body going over the back pillow as your body thumped on the ground, you winced because of the impact. "Dad.. Please, I'm sorry."_

_He pulled you up the stairs, you can feel the cold steps of the stair on your back as you try to get away. "Dad! Please!"_

_He pulled you like a bag with wheels up to your room. Once you entered, he shove your face down the floor. "You'll get away?"_

_"No.." you said with a low scared voice._

_"I heard that, you little shit. Are you lying to me? You're planning to get away?"_

_You whimpered as he picked your head up and shove it again, this time it was a little hard. "I'd like to see you try, you fucking cunt."_

_He lets go of your hair and locks your door. You were left on the floor, silently crying as you feel the pain on your back. You can hear your head pulsate because of the pain._

_..._

_"You broke her fucking leg!"_

_He looked at her with a raised brow. "I did all sorts of things to her and the only thing that you're concerned at is her broken leg?"_

_She slapped his face. His jaw clench as his head was tilted to the side because of the impact. This is the first time she's done anything to fight back._

_It's like something woke up inside of her telling her that that is enough. She needs you to get away._

_He wrapped his hand around her neck and pushed her to the wall. "Fucking bitch."_

_"Just kill me already." she said, she knows he can't do that. "You can't, right? Because you love me, you disgusting monster."  
_

_He loosens his grip on her neck, "I thought you wanted me to do this.."_

_She thought so too._

_All she wanted was to have a happy family with her dream guy. This man in front of her was her dream man. She wanted to have a child. She wanted to treat you like her daughter but when she looks at you she feels disgusted with herself._

_"Let go of me." he removes his hand on her neck and buried his face on her neck while he cries._

_"I.. I'm right for doing this, right? I avenged you. I.. I'm right. That girl deserves all of this, she deserves this."_

_He thinks what he's doing is right. The woman he loves was wronged, she was there but he feel like he lost her when that happened. He tried to be a good father to you but he lost his wife, the woman he loves. She's not in there anymore. Their marriage died and something inside the both of them died with it._

_Seeing you reminds him about the wrong decision he made about not killing you. The wrong decision to let the one thing that reminds his wife about the traumatic incident._

_"Come on." her voice softens as she cup his face with one hand, "Stop crying." she pulled him at the sofa._

_They both sat down at the couch, her arms wrapped around his shoulders as he lean on her. "Drink this."_

_She placed a cup on the side table earlier, luckily he didn't notice it because he was busy crying his eyes out. He reached for the cup and drank it entirely. She let out a lopsided grin to herself as she caress his hair and waited for him to fall asleep._

_"Aria. Wake up." your mother shakes your shoulder to wake you up. Your eyes opened partly as you hear her voice. She helped you to sit up, you can see some bags packed._

_"Mom?" you said still half asleep. "What's happening?"_

_"Come on, Aria. I'll get you out of here. You need to wake up, we don't have much time. Can you stand up?" you shook your head. She sighed and sat on the edge of the bed to help you. You placed your arm around her shoulder._

_You almost screamed as she help you stood up but she covered your mouth. "Don't scream. He might wake up." You nodded and endured the pain as you put all your body weight on your other leg._

_"Would you come with me, Mom?" you asked. She didn't answer you. "You won't?"_

_"I won't, Aria. You'll need to get by yourself. I still need to take care of something in here."_

...

_After you got away, she turned her husband in. She reported that she's the one who been beaten. She didn't say anything about you to protect you._

_She got you a crutch and accompanied you at the train station. She gave you enough money to look for a place to live and to get food. You thought, you're 18. You can find yourself some place to live for a while to let your leg heal, in a place you're not familiar with._

_It's been a week since you moved in Karanes, you met up with your mother. Your bruises and leg are gradually healing. "I'll pay for your school and your rent-"_

_"Just live with me in here."_

_"The case is still going, Aria. And.. I don't think it's best if I live with you here."_

_Your heart crumbled. You exhaled and nodded. "I'll let you pay for my rent and school for a year, but that's it. I don't want to be involved with you anymore."_

_As much as it hurts you, you also thought about how you wanted to have a new life. Maybe living with the woman who helped your life to be miserable isn't going to help you. Maybe it's for the best to start a new life without her, just you._

_Your mother never bothered you again, except for the envelope of money she keep on sending you, you started a new life. You went to school and met Petra._

_Just like that, you built a new life._

"Is she alright?" Hange asked when she saw you staring at nothing and barely touching your food. Levi sighed and tapped your back, you went back to reality when you felt his hand. "Are you alright?" Hange asked you once again.

It has been a routine for you to eat with Levi's friends and Petra during break time for the past two months. 

You gave her a small smile and nodded. You still can't forget what your mother told you yesterday, it's like something died in you once again. You don't like this feeling of being empty. Like you're trapped in your own thoughts and you can't get out, no matter how you try.

_You're a reminder of my failure._

That voice keeps playing and playing over your head. Maybe you did deserve what happened. Maybe.. You don't know what to think anymore. 

"Did something happen?" Petra asked Levi. Levi just shook his head, it's not his place to tell your friends what happened. 

"I'm alright, you guys. Don't worry about me." you said as you look at your food and just poked it over and over with a fork.

They shrugged their shoulders and started to eat again. "Aria, you need to eat. You haven't eaten anything since yesterday."

You looked at Levi and smiled at him. "I'm not hungry, Levi. It's alright."

Levi doesn't know what to do, he just stays by your side. He knows you're worried that that man might come and find you. But he won't let anything happen to you.

Like he said, he'll do _everything_ for you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hiiii im sorry, did u wait long for this update :< well, what do you think lemme knoooow


	9. Distant

It has been two days since your mom last visited. Levi feels that you're starting to fade away, slowly. You don't even listen to the lectures. You're behind on your schedule and when he visits you at the tea shop, you're always staring at nothing.

You come home and you don't even bother to talk to him. You just go straight to your bedroom and throw yourself to the bed. Not even bothering to change your clothes.

Levi sighed with a hint of worry as he stare at you, walking to the bathroom. Not even sparing him a glance. He stood outside the bathroom door as he wait for you to finish.

"Aria." 

You saw him standing in front of the door with his arms crossed in front of his chest.

"Hm?"

"Are you alright?"

You nodded and gave him a faint smile as you cup his cheek with one hand, your thumb caressing his face, "I'm okay, Levi. I'm just tired."

You pulled away and he just watched your back as you went inside your bedroom.

Four days, you're still not talking. He knocked on your door because you're both going to be late to your class. "Aria."

You opened the door with your face still half asleep, "Go on. I won't come to school today."

You closed the door before he even answers you. He's seriously worried about you, you're not even eating properly. He sighed as he make his way out of the apartment building.

"Where is she?" Petra asked Levi. She's getting worried about you too. She tries to get in touch with you but you always dodge her calls. She even went to your apartment but you won't come out of your room.

You're not in the mood to open yourself to them. You just want to be left alone.

"She said she's not coming in today. It's best if we leave her alone for now. We can't force her to talk to us if she doesn't want to."

Petra nodded in agreement to what Levi said.

Week has passed, you're still cooped in your room. You're not even crying anymore. You're just staring at the ceiling and thinking about what your mom has said to you.

You keep on telling that it's your fault.

You keep telling yourself that you're a reminder.

You keep telling yourself that you deserved that.

Your own thoughts consumes you. You're trying to get out but you can't. No matter how hard you try to come out the pool of your thoughts, you're still drowning and can't get yourself up.

You just let yourself drown and die in it.

...

You thought you're done crying but you're not. You let out a loud scream as your eyes swam in tears. You want to get out. You want to feel better.

You wanted to start a new life but the past keeps on haunting you.

What would make you feel alright?

You're still worried that he might come and get you to hurt you once again.

Think, Aria. What would make you feel okay?

Would you feel okay if he was gone.. _permanently?_

You shrugged the grim thoughts out of your head. Your getting scared, you want to live your life but how can you live your life knowing he's out there.

Levi heard you and immediately knocked on your door. "Aria."

"Go away!"

"Please.."

It's been two weeks since your mom visited. You're getting worse and worse, you're not eating anything. You're not going to school or your work and you're barely coming out of your room.

"Aria, come on." Levi knocked on your door once again. He wanted to be there for you but you locked the door and Levi couldn't come inside. "Please, let me inside."

"Go away." you said as your voice strained from screaming.

"I won't, come out or I'll break your door down."

You didn't answer and just stared at the door. Wondering if Levi would actually break your door down.

"Aria." you heard his firm voice, "One.."

You rolled your eyes as soon as he starts counting. "Two.."

"Fine!" you said a little loud, enough for him to hear.

He left you alone for weeks but he thought it's enough, if you want to wallow in your own sadness, he'd like to be in there with you. Instead of you being by yourself. You sighed and you stood up, you opened the door and you saw Levi standing outside with a worried face.

"I said don't bother me, right?"

"You know I won't let that happen." he sighed as he look at you. "Can I come in?"

You nodded and you lay down on the other side of the bed with your back touching the mattress while you stare right at the ceiling. Levi, also lay down on the other side as he stare at you.

"I don't know what's happening, Levi."

He didn't speak and just listened to you.

"I want to be okay."

You looked at him with tears falling, he sighed and wiped your tears using his thumb, "It's going to take time to feel alright. It's okay, Aria. But I won't let you shut me out anymore."

You stare at the ceiling once again. "Is it my fault?"

"No. No matter what the reason is, it is not your fault, Aria. You know that. You should know that."

You felt like an inconvenience to Levi. You felt like the only thing that he had done is to take care of you and make you feel okay. You feel like you're using him to be alright.

You like Levi, so much. But you don't want to drag him in your issues and problems.

"Do you really want to be with someone like me?"

His answer will always be yes. He wants to be with you. You make him feel like he is in heaven. You make him feel things that he has never felt before he even met you. You make his heart flutter every single time you smile at him.

"Yes. No matter how many times you ask me, my answer will always be yes."

You wiped your tears and moved closer to him, you used his arm as your pillow. Your face is facing his chest. He pulled you in a little close and gave your a hair a little peck. "I miss you, Aria."

"I miss you too." you said as you sniff his scent. You buried your face on his chest as your arm clings around his waist. He lowered his cheek on your hair, resting his face as he embrace you in his tender arms.

You stayed like that for a few minutes until you decided to speak. You've decided, you wanted to feel his lips again, you want to drown yourself in his touch instead and you wanted to feel his presence closer and closer to you.

"Levi."

He hummed as response to your call. You pointed your head upwards to look at his face, "Kiss me."

Levi was taken aback by what you said. "What?"

"I said kiss me."

Levi looked at you with puzzled look on his face. Making sure that you mean what you said. "Nevermi-"

Before you even finish talking, he closed his eyes and held your nape gently as he press his lips into yours. You closed your eyes as you respond to his kiss. His kiss was so gentle. You felt the tip of his nose touching your cheeks as your lips brush together passionately.

You felt ecstatic. Your heart is pounding inside your chest as you deepen the kiss. His hand just touching your nape and your back as you feel his gentle lips move into yours.

This time it felt different. It felt happy and right.

You gasp slightly as you both pulled away. He rest his forehead into yours as you smiled at him.

"Eh. That was alright." you teased him and he glared at you.

"Are you getting me to kiss you again?"

Levi was in a euphoric state. You're slowly coming back to him.

"Maybe."

"Tch."

...

"What are we?" you asked him, his head laying on your lap while you watch TV and he reads a book. It's Friday today and you have no classes or work. You both decided to stay in because you have nowhere else to go.

It's been a week since your kiss and you still feel giddy about it. You've been acting like a couple since then but you didn't say it out loud. You don't know what you are.

He placed the open book on his chest and looked upward, seeing your face looking down at him. 

"We're human beings, Aria."

"Oh god, are you trying to tell a joke?" he rolled his eyes as he continued to read the book, ignoring you. "Levi."

"What?" he hissed at you, still not removing the book in front of his face.

He was trying to tell a joke but he's not good at that. He didn't know how to ask you to be his girlfriend. You know that he isn't good at stuffs like that.

"Can I see your face, please?"

"No."

You pursed your lips as you try to get the book from him but he tighten his grip on it. "Levi. You can ask me."

You felt that he wanted to ask you but he always stops himself. Like yesterday, he called your name and you looked at him. The moment he stared at your face, all of what he was going to say went out of the window.

"Ask you what?"

"Oh, so you're trying to get me to ask you?"

That's easier for him.

"Ask me what?"

You're getting irritated by his actions. You exhaled loudly as you lean your back on the couch and reached for the remote, flipping the channels.

He moved the book a little to peek at you. His lips formed a little smile when he saw your irritated face.

"Be my girlfriend." he said, still not removing the book from his face. Your cheeks rise but you concealed it and bit the insides of your mouth.

"What? I didn't hear it."

He groaned and abruptly picked himself up from laying on your lap. He looked at you and cupped your cheeks with his hand, he brought his face closer to you as he place a small kiss on your lips.

"I'm your boyfriend now."

Your lips formed a bright smile as your eyebrow raise, "Really?"

"Yes."

"Okay, boyfriend."

...

It's been a week since you and Levi have made it official. He thought that you should go on a date, he brought you in Sina once again but this time it's in Orvud.

"You're wearing this." you placed a cat ears headband on his hair as you stuck your tongue out at him. You bought it earlier in the gift shop, you know Levi doesn't like things like that but you just like to tease your boyfriend.

Boyfriend, you still can't believe that you have a boyfriend. And it's this wonderful man.

"You look so cute."

You pinch his cheeks as he gave you his blank expression. He's kind of regretting on bringing you to the amusement park as your first official date.

He doesn't want to wear this but if it makes you happy then he will.

"Come on, Levi. We're riding that." you pointed the biggest ride on the park. You cling on his arm as he let you pull him on the line.

"Aria, can I ask you something?"

You looked at Levi, "What is it?"

"Do you feel happy?"

You gave him your biggest and genuine smile. You have thought about this.

Do you?

You are. You feel happy, not because Levi is with you, of course he makes you happy, but knowing the truth have set you free, not fully but at least it gave you a bit of peace, wallowing in your sadness made you think about things.

You're still scared, but it's is not your fault. It will _never_ be your fault.

Levi never fails to remind you that you're worth it and you didn't deserve what happened to you. He knows you're still worried that he might show up but he will make sure that nothing bad would happen to you.

"Of course."

Levi pats your head as you smile at him. You have the biggest smile on your face as you wait in line. 

Your eyes wander around as you got the feeling like you're being watched. You shrugged it off and you tighten your grip on Levi's arm. He noticed your uneasiness, he placed an arm around your shoulder and pulled you closer to him.

You gave him a peck on his cheek. "Thank you, Levi."

"For what?"

"Nothing. I'm just thankful to have you."

_There you are, you little shit._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> they're finally official!!!! <3 wdyt, lemme knoooow love u all


	10. Safe and Sound

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter contains stalking, implied murder and oh, a mild smut. 
> 
> read at your own risk :)

You sat at the amusement park bench as you try to feel if you're going to vomit or not. Your head is kind of spinning, you knew that riding that roller coaster would make you regret your decisions.

"Are you okay?" Levi asked you as he tap your back softly. 

"I honestly don't know if I'm going to barf or not. I feel like all the food that I ate earlier would come flooding out of my mouth." Levi gave you a disgusted look and you laughed at him.

"I'm kiddin-" you stopped as you feel your stomach turn. You stood up and ran to the nearest bathroom. Levi sighed as he followed you, he waited for you outside the bathroom. 

He notices some teenage girls looking at him while giggling. He pat his head and he noticed the cat ears that you put on him earlier. He groaned and just glared at the girls. Their eyes widen as they looked away.

"Okay, I was not kidding." that was the first thing you said as soon as you came out of the bathroom. "I feel like my insides came out of my mouth."

"Aria. That's disgusting."

You chuckled at him as you both walk to the bench earlier. "It's still early, what do you want to do?"

He asked you and you thought about what else you wanted to do. Your feet is kind of tired from walking around and the sky is getting darker already.

You still have the feeling that someone's watching you, so you'll be comfortable going home now.

"How about we go home, order food and watch a movie?"

He gave you a nod and stood up. He offered you his hand and you held onto him, interlocking your fingers together.

...

You both looked at the door when the bell rang. The pizza that you both ordered already arrived. You frowned, that took a little longer than what they say.

You smiled at Levi, indicating that he should get it. He scoffed and rolled his eyes, "You don't have to smile at me like that, I'm planning to get it anyways."

"Well, you should get it now." you wiggle your eyebrows at him in an up and down manner.

He stood up and went to the door while you went to the bedroom to get some blanket and got the movie ready for your movie night.

Levi opened the door and some weird looking pizza delivery guy is at the door step. "Good evening, here's your double cheese pizza."

Levi furrowed his brows, he's getting a bad vibe from this man but he just shrugged it off. He got the money from his wallet and handed it to the guy. "Having a movie night, sir?"

"It's none of your business." Levi said as he was about to close the door, the man spoke again.

He gave Levi a grin, "Have a good night, sir."

Levi didn't answer and just closed the door. The man annoyingly removed his cap and glared at the closed door, he was hoping that you'd be the one to open the door.

He'd like to see your pale and scared face when you saw him. 

He went out of the apartment building and entered the delivery car, he looked at the backseat. Thinking about how should he dispose of the body of the poor pizza delivery guy.

_Fucking bastard answered the door. I was getting ready to grab that bitch._

He drove away from the apartment building, thinking of a next plan.

You went out of the room and walked into the living room, sitting on the couch.

"Here you go." Levi said as he placed the box on the center table. You smiled at him and tapped the seat beside you. He wastes no time and wrapped his arms around your shoulder as you both watch the movie.

You're both watching a romance movie. Levi doesn't like movies like this but you pestered him until he gave up. Levi just shakes his head at you when the actress cries and you'll cry too. 

"Why are you crying?"

"Are we watching the same movie or not?" you looked at him with tears in your eyes and snot in your nose. "Come on, Levi. It's heartbreaking!"

He groaned and got a pizza from the box, "Whatever."

You just ignored Levi and snuggled a little close to him. You feel giddy and happy. Well, you always feel like this and you're just thankful to have someone as amazing as Levi. 

You both became uncomfortable as soon as the actors engage in a kissing scene. Levi cleared his throat and you gulped, both of your eyes glued on the television. 

Now, all that is on your mind is what if you and Levi kiss? What if your wreathing hot bodies came in touch-

"I'm sleepy." you suddenly said. You just want to stop thinking about that. You don't even know if you're already ready for something like that.

Maybe.. you are.

"Come on, let's go to sleep." he said, clearly feeling awkward too. Of course, he has thought about that too. But as he said, he'll never force you to do something that you don't like, he'll wait until you're ready to do something physical with him.

But there's this voice inside your head telling you to kiss him. Telling you to press your body into him as you move your lips together.

Levi stood up and you just sat there contemplating. He looked at you with furrowed brows. "What?"

"Uh.."

"I thought you're sleepy?" he asked you and he sat down beside you once again. "What is it? Is something wrong?"

You abruptly stood up in front of him and he just looked at you. You bit your lip as you thought about what you want to do.

"Levi.." you called his name. You placed both your hands on each side of his shoulder, pushing him softly to lean on the couch. 

Levi got the hint of what you want to do. But he's not saying anything and letting you do what you want. You sat on his lap, folding your legs on each side of his thighs, straddling him. 

He held your waist as soon as you press your lips into his. 

You let out a suppressed moan when you felt him bit your lower lip, sucking it into his mouth. You slowly grind on his crotch as your lips move together in a hot mind blowing kiss. His hands wanders on your back, letting his hand move inside your clothes as he unclasp your bra in one swift move.

You were even more turned on when he remove your undergarment with no difficulty, you coiled your arms around his neck as you both deepen the kiss. Your head moves upward as his lips move down to your neck.

"Levi." you moaned his name a little loud when his gentle hands moved to cup your breasts, your moans is like a beautiful melody in his ears, his fingers flicking and pinching your nipple. He stopped placing kisses on your neck and looked straight into your eyes. He can see your slightly swollen lips from the rough kiss earlier and it makes his insides more heated. 

You can feel his hardness on your crotch as he looks at you with his sinfully dark eyes filled with hunger and desire for you. He didn't waste anytime and lifts your shirt up until it is removed from you, exposing your bare upper body to him. He groaned at the sight, you look so beautiful to him.

You felt your cheeks heat as he stare right into your chest. You ruffled his hair when his tongue licks your breast. Some kind of unusual feeling comes jolting to your body when he swirl his tongue around your nipples while his other hand is massaging your other breast.

"Oh god." you whispered at the sensation that he's giving you. You can feel your panties get wetter.

He pulled away and he heard you protested a little. His lips formed a subtle smirk because of your eagerness. He switched your positions, your back slammed on the soft cushion as he place his body on top of yours. Your hand worked its way on the hem of his shirt, you moved it upward revealing his toned body.

"Oh wow." you suddenly said while you let out a snort. Levi furrowed his brow while looking at your eyes. "It's just.. oh my god, your body looks good."

You can't take your eyes off his muscular body. It's like you're staring at a billion dollar art. 

"So, you'll just stare at my body?"

"Can I?" you laughed and he scoffs at you. You totally ruined the atmosphere. But you can't help yourself admire him, he looks perfect. "I'm kidding. I'm sorry, did I ruin the moment?"

"It's alright." he kissed your forehead and you felt your heart go wild.

You smiled at him and suddenly you're aware that you're naked. You looked away as you bit your lip. Levi groaned at the sight, your little habits makes him crazy. 

"Come on, let's go to bed." he stood up as he picked your shirt up and gave it to you. You stood up and wore your shirt as you follow him into the bedroom.

"Levi." you called his name and he turned his back to look at you. "Can you keep your shirt off?" you said playfully, teasing him. He glared at you with his gray eyes.

"Aria."

You laughed as you heard his firm voice, you pulled him into the bedroom. "I'm just kidding."

You're the first one to lay on the bed, you pursed your lip when he puts his shirt on. He lays down beside you and you curl up beside him. "Good night, Levi."

He kissed your hair and pulled you closer to him. "Good night."

You got the biggest smile as you close your eyes. 

You'll get there soon.

...

"You had sex?" Petra asked you directly without even pausing and thinking about it. You widened your eyes at her because of the volume of her voice.

"No! We didn't.. not yet." Petra rolled her eyes at you when she saw your cheeks flushes a red color. "What?" you asked her as you sip your coffee.

"You freaky girl!" you giggled at Petra and your smile fades away as you look outside the coffee shop. You can see a familiar figure standing outside. You're trying to point it out.

Your face went pale as soon as you realize but then Petra called your attention, "Hey. You alright?" you looked at her with your troubled eyes.

"I'm.." you looked outside and the person was gone. You're probably seeing things, you thought. "fine.."

But you can't help to feel scared and worried. Petra noticed your reactions. You felt uneasy. "You sure?"

You smiled at her but you can't stop yourself on looking outside. "I.. I just saw something familiar. It's probably nothing."

Petra sits up straight as she turn her head to look outside and looks at you once again, "What is it?"

"Looks like him." 

Petra's instinct suddenly kick in, "Do you want to leave?" you nodded and then she stood up, you picked your bags up and she immediately held your hand. 

She's not letting you go until you reach her car and drove back to Karanes. She accompanied you up to your unit. You gave her a smile as soon as you reach your door. "You know I'm thankful to have you."

She smiled at you, "I'm thankful to have you too. Now, get your ass inside. I'm not leaving until I see you come inside."

You nodded and got your keys and opened the door. You gave Petra a hug before going inside. She felt your fear when you gave her a tight hug, she taps your back gently. "You know I won't let anything bad happen to you, especially him." 

Petra said as soon as she saw Levi looking at the both of you, you turned your head and you saw your boyfriend looking worried at you. You haven't called or messaged him about what happened because your mind was occupied the whole ride back to your place. 

You let go of Petra and gave her a smile. "Take care." she nodded and she walked her way to the elevator.

You closed the door and faced Levi. You felt safe seeing him, "Hey, handsome."

He snorted at the nickname, you ran to him and coiled your arms around his torso, you leaned your head on his shoulder. 

"Did something happen?"

"It's nothing." you sighed, "It's nothing because you're here. I know you won't let anything happen to me."

He hummed as response and reciprocated your embrace. "Levi."

He looked at you face, your breathtakingly gorgeous face that makes his heart go crazy. He tucked your hair behind your ear. "Hm?"

"I love you."

He was speechless. He didn't know what to say, well, he knows but he's too embarrassed to say that three words out loud.

Instead, he cupped your cheek using his one hand as his other hand is still on your waist. He moves his face close to you until you feel his soft lips touching your own. You closed your eyes and responded to his gentle kiss.

You pulled away and smiled at him, "I guess that's 'i love you too'?"

He rolled his eyes and pats your head, "What else does it mean?"

You giggled and hugged him even tighter. Your heart felt glad, you suddenly forgot your worries earlier. Him holding you close makes you feel like you're out of harm's way. 

Well, you're not really.. he stood outside your apartment building as he looks up at your balcony humming the words that he's playing on his mind over and over again.

_I'm gonna come and get you._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> they're getting somewhere huh? i know u're all waiting for it soooo, don't worryyy we're getting a little close to that ;) hihihihi lemme know what you think abt this chapter <3 i always enjoy reading some comments so gimme some! hahahahah


	11. True Colors

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello, a little warning. this chapter contains a bit of violence and smut. 
> 
> sooo, enjoy i guess? hahahaha

"Mom. Do I have to?" you're watching Levi once again as you sit on the couch facing the balcony while Levi talks to his mom with a narrowed eyes and furrowed brows.

 _"I wouldn't ask you once again, young man. I would send someone in there to drag you in here, Levi."_ Kuchel's voice is firm. Levi groaned as he place his other hand on the railings.

"I don't want to see Kenny."

 _"Well, you don't have any choice. It's my 50th birthday, Levi. And bring your little girlfriend."_ Kuchel's voice fades from being authoritative to excited. She wants to meet you.

You're the first girl that Levi would bring in their home. Kuchel never thought that Levi would have a girlfriend, she felt downhearted when Levi decided to move out to a place far away from her.

But she's a little glad now because it caused for him to meet you. Though, she still misses her baby boy.

 _"Come on, i miss my baby."_ Levi groaned at the nickname. _"You will come home. Alright? I'll hang up now, love you."_

"Bye mom."

Levi lets out a loud exhale as he turns his back, seeing you look at him. "We're going to Yarckel."

Your eyes widen as you stood up, both your hands placed on each side of your waist.

"What? Why?"

"Mom's birthday. She wants to meet you."

You felt all kinds of nervous. You don't know how would you act or talk to her. What if she doesn't like you? What if she thought that you're not worthy for his son? What if she-

"I know what you're thinking. My mom would love you because you're amazing. So stop thinking too much. Also, it's a formal party with gowns and shits like that."

"I've never been to a party like that."

"My mom.." he sighed as he roll his eyes. "Likes big events like this and she thought since it's her 50th, she'll go all out."

You bet that many rich people would be attending the party of Levi's mom. Now, you're getting seriously nervous.

...

"I don't know what to wear. I certainly don't know how to act in places like that. What if I embarrassed Levi?" you said as you sat at Petra's couch inside her room. Hange sat beside you and placed an arm around your shoulder.

"You're going to be fine. Besides, we'll be there with you."

Hange and Petra were also invited. Though, Petra would just come because of her father. Apparently, Petra's father and the Ackermans have some kind of connection.

"Yeah and you have a great personality. I heard that Levi's mom is super nice, so I don't think it'll be a problem."

You just hope so. Levi reassured you many times that it will be great. What you are feeling is normal because it's your first time to meet a boyfriend's parent, well, Levi is your first boyfriend. So, there. 

"I know. It's just that I'm still nervous."

Petra and Hange chuckled at your facial expression. You're playing with your fingers as your lips are pursed. "Aria! You'll be fine, come on. Let's watch this movie to stop your worries."

Petra pulled you to her bed and Hange followed the both of you. You smiled as you lean on Petra's headboard. They sat beside you, leaving you in between the two of them.

You're enjoying your life right now. You have a great boyfriend and amazing friends. You're just hoping that that man would leave you alone.. but everything doesn't really go the way we like it, huh?

After your girl's bonding at Petra's place, you went home and you saw Levi reading a book at the couch, as usual, your lips formed a smile as you sneak behind him. 

You coiled your arms around his shoulder and kissed the crook of his neck. "Hey."

He jumped a bit because of your presence and that made you laugh, "The fuck.." he muttered.

"I'm sorry!" you giggled, you pulled away to sit at the couch. As soon as you sat down, you noticed a big white box at the center table and a shoebox beside it. "What's this?"

Levi closed the book and faced you, "That's for you, from my mom."

Your eyes went round as your mouth widens a little. You opened the box and you saw a black trumpet laced satin gown with a thin straps. You can't help but wonder how would you look in this and you also thought how much was this gown.

"I can't accept this.. it probably cost a lot."

Levi pats your hair, "It's alright, you need something to wear at the party. Come on, try it on."

Levi can see the glimmer in your eyes and he can't help but adore your cuteness. The corner of his mouth turned up a bit as he watch you look at the gown. 

You let out an excited squeal as you entered your bedroom with the gown. Your eyes were filled with amazement as soon as you saw yourself in the clothing, you stared at yourself in the mirror. 

You walked out of your room, Levi is sitting on the arm rest as he wait for you.

Levi's heart flutter as soon as he saw you. Levi's face was struck with admiration as he look at you. "You're gorgeous."

"You think so?"

He nodded and you walked close to him. He placed his hands on your waist, you giggled when he planted little kisses on your neck. "So damn beautiful."

He turned you around to see the entirety of the dress on you. 

"Close your mouth, Levi. You're so close on drooling."

He scoffed and hugs you from the back, he removes your hair out of your neck and inhales your addicting scent. 

"Okay, I'll get out of this dress now." you pulled away and you can see the subtle frown on Levi's face. Your lips form a playful smirk as you think of a way to tease your boyfriend. "Do you want to remove it from me?"

His jaw clenched as he lets out a small growl. "Stop it."

You laughed at his reaction and gave him a kiss on his cheek as you went to the bedroom to change out of it. 

Levi hissed at himself when he felt his hardness on his pants. You definitely succeeded on your goal, "Fuck."

...

"Is this.. this is your house?!" you asked Levi when you saw their house from the car window. You can't help but blink your eyes over and over. 

You couldn't believe what you're seeing. You feel like your mind is going to blow up trying to process the view. It's a big ass mansion with a big fountain and such in front. It's big alright, big doesn't even begin to explain it, it's is huge.

Their house is located in a kind of secluded place. "It looks like a damn castle, what the fuck.." you whispered. "You grew up in here?"

Levi just nodded at you while he drove around the fountain to the main door. You can see different expensive cars coming and different kinds of people in their formal wear. You looked at Levi and you can't help but smile, he looks so handsome in his tuxedo.

You're wearing an evening make up look and Petra styled your hair in big curls. You felt your heart pounding as Levi stopped the car. A man in suit opens the car door for you and laid his hand for you. 

"Thank you." you said as soon as you exit Levi's car. Levi immediately placed his arm around your waist as soon as he walked to you. "Levi, I'm nervous."

He pulled you closer and places a soft kiss on your shoulder. "It will be alright."

Your eyes lit up as your mouth dropped when you enter Levi's home. A big staircase and chandelier surprised you. You looked around and you can see elegant decorations around as well as tables with guests sitting. 

"Mom's probably getting ready-" Levi was cut off when a very tall man with a short dark hair that reaches his neck approaches the two of you with a drink in his hand. He gave you a meaningful smile.

"So, Levi. Is this the little girlfriend of yours?"

Levi's face went blank as soon as the man approached the both of you. "Kenny Ackerman, I'm this midget's uncle. Welcome to our home." you snickered a bit at the nickname.

You gave him a smile and you were about to speak when Levi butts in. "She doesn't care who you are. Come on." Levi pulled you away from him and walked to the table where your friends are.

"Levi! That was rude!"

Levi huffs a loud breathe and he looked at you, "Don't talk to him."

"Why?"

"Just listen to me." he said and before you answer, you reached the table where Erwin, Hange and Petra are.

"Hey there, lovers." Hange greeted the both of you and you snickered at her. You're a bit upset because of Levi's attitude towards his uncle but you didn't make a big deal out of it. He probably has a reason for that, even if it's very rude of him.

You sat down beside Petra and Levi sat down beside you. 

You looked at Levi and noticed his foul mood. You're getting curious about Levi's relationship to his uncle. You wanted to ask him but it looks like he won't tell you something.

Now, you're looking forward on how this night will go. 

It's going to be a long fucking night.

You all stood up when Kuchel walk down the staircase with Levi escorting her. She's wearing a gold mermaid gown. You couldn't believe that this woman is already at her 50th year. You smiled at them but you can't help but notice some tall blonde man with glasses keeps on looking at you. You shrugged it off and focused on Levi and his mom.

Kuchel smiled at her guests and she whispered something at Levi and then he suddenly pointed your direction. You were startled but then Kuchel gave you a smile and you also gave her a warm smile.

"She's beautiful, Levi." Kuchel whispered at Levi. Levi gave his mom a small smile and nodded.

"Yeah. She is, Mom."

Kuchel smiled at her son and after greeting everyone, they went to your direction. "Hello, pretty girl! This dress I bought fits you perfectly." 

"Hello, Mrs. Ackerman. Happy birthday! Thank you for the dress. I love it." you greeted her with a big smile. You were startled when she hugged you, you looked at Levi and he just gave you a nod. 

"Silly. Just call me Kuchel. And you're welcome dear." 

She pulled away and looked at your face, the smile is still visible on her lovely face. "You look stunning, Kuchel. I can see where Levi got his good looks." 

You know that's a cliché but Hange told you to tell Levi's mom that. Levi scoffed and Kuchel chuckled. "You look delightful too. Please, enjoy the party. Alright? I'll go ahead and welcome other guests. It's nice meeting you, Aria."

"Likewise." you gave her a respectful nod. She went and entertained her other guests. Levi held onto your waist immediately and gave your cheek a peck.

"I told you she'll love you." you just giggled.

The night goes on, you were just mostly chatting with Hange and Petra. Sometimes, you chat with Levi but he just mostly talks to Erwin and just asks you now and then if you feel okay. You smiled at how close Levi is to his mom. You feel like you're getting to know the man that you love more and more. 

You tapped Levi's shoulder and he looked at you, "Bathroom." you whispered at him.

"There's one on that hallway. Second door to the right." he pointed the hallway near the table of foods. "Do you want me to go with you?"

"No. It's alright. I won't be long." you kissed his cheek and stood up. You make your way into the bathroom, you're kind of struggling because of your long dress but you managed. You washed your hands and when you get out of the bathroom, the man who keep on glancing at you earlier was waiting outside.

"You're Levi's girl, huh?"

You nodded. "Uh.. yes?" He hummed and walked closer to you until he corners you on the wall. You're getting kind of scared, you don't know this man. 

He moves his mouth near your ears and whispered, "Did he show you already?"

Show you what?

"Show me what?" you asked him with slightly frightened voice. You're getting very uncomfortable.

"His true colors." you looked straight at his eyes and he gave you a meaningful smirk. "It's best if you-"

"Zeke." you heard Levi's voice, he immediately pulled you and gave the man a sharp glare. As if his gaze is cutting straight into his soul. "What shitty nonsense are you telling my girlfriend?"

"It's nothing, Levi. It's nice to see you again, _brother._ "

Levi gritted his teeth as pulled you away from Zeke and dragged you back into your table. "What did he tell you?"

"It's nothing. He just asked me if I'm your girlfriend and I said yes." he nodded and took a sip on his drink.

Now, you're wondering. What the hell was that? Levi's true colors..? You just shrugged it off, maybe it was his archenemy or something trying to mess your mind.

You just enjoyed yourself but at the back of your mind, you're still thinking about that.

Levi noticed your kind of exhausted face, "Do you want to rest for a bit?"

You nodded at him. Your feet is kind of tired because of the heels. 

"Come on." he stood up and laid his hands for you, you excused yourself to your friends and held onto Levi's hand, letting him lead you upstairs.

You're kind of anticipating what would happen. You smirk to yourself as you remember the subtle glances and little touch Levi keeps on throwing at you earlier.

"Can I remove my heels now?" you asked him with your kind of exhausted voice as soon as you step on the second floor.

He didn't say anything and he kneeled in front of you to remove your heels. Your heart softens because of this gentleman. He gave you your shoes and you both walk into the long silent hallway of their huge house. 

He opened the door of one room near the end of the hall. It's simple, black and white is the main colors of the room. You saw a king-sized bed, a mini living room and another two doors. It's probably the bathroom and a walk-in closet.

"Is this your room?" he locked the door while your eyes wanders around his room.

You heard him hum as soon and he snaked his arm around your waist, you can feel his warm breathe on your nape. "Levi.."

Here it is, this is what you're waiting for.

You dropped your heels on the floor.

"Yes?"

"Do you want to remove my dress now?" as soon as you asked that, he let the thin strap of your dress fall from your shoulder. You bit your lip when you feel his soft lips touching your skin. You breath heavily as you feel his kisses on your skin, his hands moved to let your dress down, leaving you in your undergarments.

He turned you around to face him, you can see his luscious stare as his hands roam around your hair, gripping it a bit. "Is this okay with you?"

You bit your lip as you gave him a desperate nod. You want him. Badly.

"Tell me." he husked on your ears giving shivers all through out your body. 

"Yes."

As soon as you gave him an answer, he pulled your hair down causing for your head to move upward giving him a wide access to your neck, he moved his face to your neck and sucked your skin into his mouth. You placed your hand on his hair as your ruffle it and give him a purr.

He groaned as he hears you uttering a low contented moan. He lets go of your hair and unclasps your brassier, letting it fall on the floor along with your dress. 

He places his hand on your butt, you jump a bit so he can carry you into the bed, still kissing your neck and down to your breast licking and sucking it. Swirling his tongue around as he makes you go crazy.

He slammed your back on the mattress as he remove his clothes. You bit your lip as you watch his smooth hands remove what's covering his mouth watering body until he's left with undershorts.

His body never fails to left you with amazement.

He walks towards you and gets on top of you, you cling your arm around his neck and pulled him in for a kiss. You let out a stifled moan when he swiftly moved his tongue inside your mouth, you can feel your insides get hotter when you feel his hard clothed crotch pressing into yours.

Your moans of satisfaction gets him more turned on. While your mouth is moving hungrily, his hands roams around your chest massaging it.

You pulled away to catch your breath, "Levi.." 

"Hmm?" he hummed as he looked straight into your eyes, his fingertips tracing your breast to your stomach down to your wet throbbing pussy, you grasped on the bed sheet as soon as his long slick fingers find its way to your slit.

His lips brushed into different parts of your body until he reaches your panties. He licked the insides of his mouth as he remove it, exposing your wet hole to him. "You're beautiful."

"Oh god.." you moaned when he moves his mouth to your pussy. You mewled as you feel his tongue licking your clit, you pulled his hair as you arch your back because of the feeling.

You cry out when he delved his tongue inside your hole and back to your slit once again. His tongue moved in circular motion at your clit, giving you waves of pleasure as your breath hitched.

Your hand just gripped his hair and the bed sheet, "Fuck, Levi. Fuck me!"

You whined when he pulled away, he gave you a smirk. "You're an eager brat, huh?"

You looked at him with your needy stare. You gulped when he removed his underwear, he's cock is so damn big. 

"Suck it."

You gave him a seductive look as you sit up and make your way towards him. He's kneeling on the bed as his cock is just staring right at your face waiting for it to be sucked by your warm mouth. 

You got on all fours as you face his dick, your tongue trails up and down to his shaft while you look at him. He bit his lip when you licked his slit and finally taking him whole into your mouth. He held your hair and pushed you a little deep until you feel the tip on your throat making you gag and your eyes well up with a little bit of tears.

Your pussy twitched when you heard his groans. He pulled you away, leaving his cock covered with your saliva. Then he pushed your head into his cock once again. 

You moved your head as your tongue swirl around the tip of his cock. You can see his cock disappear inside your mouth as you suck him. You can barely fit all of him inside of your mouth but that doesn't stop you. 

His head is thrown back as his hand grips your hair which makes your knees weak.

Your lips are getting red and swollen, you moaned when he pushed his dick deep into your throat. 

He pulled your head away, "Fuck, that was so good."

You gave him a playful smile, your lips are reddened and wet with saliva. He wiped your lips seductively with his thumb and then he suddenly entered his finger into your mouth, you sucked it proudly as you tease him into fucking you.

"Shit." he growled, "Turn around." he ordered you and you obeyed him. 

You turned your position, your head facing the headboard as you gave him a look at your pussy, still on fours. He pushed your upper body on the mattress as your ass moves upward. 

He stood up for a bit and got a condom from his drawer. His hands moves fast as he put it on his dick.

You purred when you feel him move his dick up and down on your slit, still not sliding it in your hole. Making you beg and crave for it. "Levi, please.." you pleaded.

He smirked as he heard your cries. "What do you want me to do?"

Without any hesitation, you answered. "Fuck me."

He let out a small groan and gripped your sides as he slowly enter you. Your mouth opened as a shaky moan escapes your mouth. "Oh, Levi.."

He grunted when he felt your tight walls on his cock. He pulls out and sees your hole closes as he remove his cock out of your pussy. He pushed it in again and you let out a moan as his dick sink inside you.

He bent down on your body, pushing his cock deeper. He place kisses on your back as he move slowly, you can feel his dick move in and out because of his steady movements.

"Please. Fuck me, faster. Please."

He groans and his movement suddenly became fast. His hands grips your waist as he rams in your hole faster and deeper. He fucks you so hard causing you to scream his name, you didn't care if somebody hears you.

You just moan roughly and loudly as he takes you in his bed. He loves seeing you under him, saying his name while he fucks you.

You can hear the slapping of your skins and the bed creaking. You grip the bed sheets as you mewled and give yourself to him.

You're getting turned on even more as your hear his grunts while he jerk his hips into you. He pulled your hair, "Look at me."

You obeyed him and turned your head and looked straight into his eyes while he's thrusting into you harder and faster. You can see the lust in him as he his gaze pierce into your eyes.

"Oh fuck.. You're so amazing." you can barely say the words as you let the pleasure took over you. He pulled out and flipped you over, you back resting on the mattress.

He pinned your hands above your head as he entered you once again. 

You looked at him while he fucks you, "I love you. I love you." you said over and over.

You're not regretting giving yourself to him. You want him to take you. You're falling deeper and deeper and you're glad it's with him. 

He brushed his lips into yours roughly as you moan in his mouth. His thrusts makes your body shatter. You can feel him grip your wrists tighter as his movements become sloppy. 

"I'm close, Levi- I'm close! Don't stop!"

You screamed as you feel release coming. You moaned loudly as you felt your high. Levi kissed your lips deeply and roughly as he stopped moving, jerking his cock deeply inside you as he come.

You whimpered a bit when he pulled out. You just lay down at the bed looking satisfied as you let out an intoxicated smile. Levi removes the condom and ties it in a knot, throwing it on the trash can. 

He lays down beside you and kissed your forehead. You snuggled to him while you cover your bodies with blanket. "Are you alright?"

He asked you because he was a bit rough on pulling your hair and gripping your waist and wrists.

"I'm more than alright. That was fucking amazing." you hugged him and rests your head on his chest. "I love you, Levi."

Even though he just pulls you close to him and kisses your hair, you know that he loves you too.

You both stayed in there for a while and later on got dressed because Kuchel might look for you two. You're kind of shy knowing that your friends might got a hint of what you did in his room. He helped you put your dress on, your make up is kind of smudged now. 

"Look what you did." you said as you purse your lips. You fixed your face and hair.

"Can you blame me?" 

You just rolled your eyes at him as you step out of his room and head downstairs. You can just feel the meaningful look on Petra and Hange's eyes when you came back. 

"What did you lovers do, huh." Hange asked playfully.

"None of your business four eyes. Shut up." Levi said as he sat on his chair, Hange just snickered and talked to Erwin once again.

"Can I borrow your lipstick.." you told Petra as soon as you sat beside her. She just looked at you with a smirk, "Petra!"

"Oh, you're wild huh."

"Oh god, stop it!" you whispered and she laughed at you. She likes teasing you.

"You mean 'oh god, don't stop'?" she whispered and you sighed as you rolled your eyes. You hit her softly as you can feel your cheeks flush a scarlet color. "I'm just kidding. Here."

You looked at Levi when he suddenly stood up. "I'll just talk to Zeke."

Erwin looked at him with his wary eyes. Levi ignored Erwin's looks and went to Zeke's direction. Your eyes followed Levi as he went to Zeke until they both disappear outside.

You just shrugged your shoulders and conversed with your friends. You just tapped your fingers on your thighs under the table as you wait for Levi.

You're wondering what they're talking about, it's been a few minutes since they went outside. The host of the party suddenly wants the guests attention for the blowing of the candles. Levi's not here yet.

You all stood up and you're about to go and find him when Erwin spoke, "Where are you going?"

"I'll look for Levi. He shouldn't miss this." you said as you gave him a smile. Erwin sighed because he knows what Levi meant by talking.

There's this voice telling Erwin to stop you but there's another one telling him to let you to see what you're getting into.

You went outside and you searched for Levi until you reached the side of their house, your eyes widen when you saw Zeke leaned on the wall while Levi pushes his throat using his foot.

You immediately hid behind the wall but your head is peeking a little.

"You fuck." Levi muttered while looking at Zeke's smirking face. "I certainly missed pushing my foot down your throat, you and Eren have such kickable face. You're brothers indeed."

You didn't feel frightened. You just felt the confusion rush through your mind. Just.. who the hell is Levi?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> they finally did it (>ω^) so what do you think, let me know <3


	12. Blind

"How dare you say my brother's name." Zeke said a little seriously. Levi raised his brow and a coy smile was seen on his lips. But then, it was washed off when Zeke added something, "You're certainly good at hiding your true nature, aren't you? Your poor girlfriend doesn't know what kind of person her lover is."

That sentence made your ears perk up and you heart beat uncontrollably fast.

Zeke groaned when Levi pushed him harder into the wall. "Shut the fuck up."

He laughed causing for Levi to be more pissed off. You just stood there, completely baffled about what was happening.

"You shut your damn mouth, beardy."

You didn't say anything or show yourself. Instead, you went back inside and you saw Erwin looking at you, you flashed him a smile. "I didn't find him."

Erwin couldn't comprehend whether you're faking or not. He tries to read you but he can't. Instead, he just nodded at you and you stood there clapping your hands with a smile on your face as Kuchel blows her candles.

"Hey." Levi greeted you when he came back, "What's happening?"

"Your mom blew her candles and you weren't here." you looked at his slightly tilted bow tie, you fixed it and combed his slightly messed hair using your fingers. "Where did you go anyways?"

"I just talked to Zeke outside."

You gave him a small smile and nodded. But you're actually thinking what kind of person Levi really is? Is there something more to uncover?

You couldn't believe that that was Levi outside. He's not like that, yes he is rude and not that sociable but he's caring and loving.. or is he? Is he really or that's just a facade?

But the thing is, you're not afraid. You just want to know him. You just want to know the truth and you know you'll still love him.

Or will you? Will you still love him if you knew his true nature just like Zeke said?

You shrugged all your thoughts away and you remembered something. Levi's father isn't here. Now that you think about it, he's not mentioning or talking about him. Even once.

You looked at him, contemplating whether to ask him or not. He furrowed his brows when he noticed that you're staring at him. "What?"

"It's nothing." you looked away but Levi held your chin and faced you to him.

"What is it?"

You sighed, "I just realized, your father's not here."

You felt Erwin's glance at you. You just know that Erwin knows everything about Levi but you didn't want to prey on him behind his back.

You're tempted to ask Erwin about Levi though.

Levi's mood suddenly changed. You just know it. He cleared his throat and looked away, "He's.. he's not here. That's all you have to know."

You nodded and gave him an apologetic face, you don't know if you hit something or what but ever since you asked him about his father his disposition changed.

...

You're currently sitting at the bench underneath the tree near the field. It's been a week since Kuchel's party. You're back at Karanes and it's like nothing happened between Levi and Zeke. It has been bothering you, you wanted to ask Levi but you're afraid of his answer.

But there's a part in you that wanted to know and there's a part that doesn't. You really don't know what else to do. You wanted to go to Erwin but you're not exactly close and he's not going to sell his friend out to you even though you're Levi's partner. You're sure of that.

"Hey. What are you thinking about?" Petra asked you when she noticed you staring at nothing, deeply in thought. She sat beside you as you both look at the field.

"Nothing.." you sighed but the you looked at Petra. "Actually.."

You bit your lip as you contemplate whether to tell her or not. She gazed at you with her eyebrow raised, "What?"

"You swear to keep this to yourself or else.." you gave her a warning look. You were supposed to keep it to yourself but you don't know what else to do. You thought that your best friend could help you.

And you also thought that Levi would be mad at you if he knew that you told someone else instead of telling him but you need to let this out. It has been eating your thoughts.

"You know me. I won't tell anyone what you're about to tell me."

You sighed as you tell her what you saw at the party. Petra's surprisingly calm about that but there's still a hint of worry in her.

"Why don't you ask him?" she asked you.

"I'm afraid of his answer. I'm not afraid of him.. and that's odd. Maybe because I love him?"

And because you know that he loves you and he would never do anything to hurt you. All he did is care for you and you're not doubting that. You just want to know who he is.

"Hmm. Before I forget.." you looked at her. "I asked my Dad about Levi's father because I was curious when you asked him at the party and he seemed off." Petra chuckled nervously.

"Petra." you said with a surprised tone but then you got curious. You want to know but it seems that Levi doesn't want you to know about his father. "I don't want to know."

"Okay."

You pursed your lips as your curiosity intensifies. No, you won't ask her. If Levi wants you to know then he would tell you himself.

...

You wait outside the university bus stop. You won't be coming home with Levi today because he has an extra class today. You told him that you'll wait for him but he insist that you go home because it might take too long. As you wait, you look at the other side of the road. And you see that familiar figure once again.

Your eyes widen as you saw him adjust his cap and you can see his face for a bit. Your body goes into shock but you need to gather yourself, you immediately look at the university's entrance if you know someone. You were a little relieved when you saw Erwin come out. You ran to him and clung to his arm. He jumped a bit but then he furrowed his brow when he noticed that you're acting strange.

"Take me home." you said with your pleading voice.

You're not close to him but you know you can trust him. Erwin can be intimidating sometimes but you've seen him with his friends and you had some conversations with him.

"What happened?" he asked you, you hinted a worry in his voice.

You didn't know if Levi told Erwin about you but you guess Levi is not the type to say someone's personal problem to other people. You glanced at the other side and he was gone, again.

You gulped as you remove your arm from Erwin's. "It's fine.. I was probably seeing things."

"What things?" he looked at you, still staring at the other side of the road. Then his eyes wander at the other side too. "Are you alright? Where's Levi?"

"He still have classes." you smiled at Erwin. "I'm fine. I'm sorry I probably startled you. I'll go now." you turned around to go back to the waiting shed when Erwin called for you.

"Aria, wait."

You turned to look at him, eyebrows raised. "Yeah?"

"I'll take you home. Levi would kill me if something bad happened to you." you chuckled. Erwin doesn't know what's the problem but he can sense that you're uneasy. And, you're still actually a little scared so you didn't see any reason to reject his offer.  
  
  


"Thank you, Erwin." you said as you come out of his car. You bent down a bit to see his face through the open window.

"No worries. I already messaged Levi that I took you home." you nodded. You turned around to walk inside your apartment building but then you looked at Erwin again. "What is it?"

You're thinking if you're going to ask him about Levi. This might be your only chance.

"I saw him, that night." Erwin was taken aback but then he immediately maintained his expression. "I saw him pushing Zeke's throat on the wall using his foot."

"I guess you have questions."

You sighed as you walk towards the car door, you opened it and sat on the passenger's seat once again. "I have some. Would you answer it?"

Erwin hummed, he leaned on his seat as his fingers tap on the steering wheel of his car, as he mulls over whether he would tell you or not but he's not the type to sold his friend out. "It depends. But I wouldn't tell you anything big or something. Does he know?"

"No. I haven't told him."

"It's best if you got answers from him."

You knew it. He wouldn't tell you anything. "That's alright. Thanks again." you were about to open the door when Erwin spoke once again.

"If you're worried that he might do something.. to you. He won't. I know him. I won't tell him that you know but I really think that it's best if you tell him."

...

You stare out at the tall buildings as you sat on the balcony, waiting for Levi to come home. You've decided. You will tell him. You know curiosity would keep on haunting you unless you tell your boyfriend.

You turned your head when you heard the door open. "I'm home." you heard him say as he called for your name.

"I'm here." you said a little loud, he walked towards the balcony and got a sit for himself. "I missed you." you said as you gave him a sweet smile.

He placed his arm around your shoulder as you lean on him. "Erwin took you home? Did something happen?"

You remembered. You haven't told Levi about the man that you have been seeing. You don't even know if it's real or not. "Do you remember the time that I hugged Petra back then when we got home from Utopia?"

He hummed as response, "I have been seeing someone who looks like my mother's husband. And, I saw him again today."

Levi immediately looked at you, you can see the worry in his eyes. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't know if it's real. I'm sorry."

He pets your hair as he pull you in close to him. "Why are you apologizing? It's alright. Just next time, tell me."

He's calm on the outside but on the inside he's afraid. He doesn't want something bad to happen to you. He's thinking of million ways how to protect you. "Levi."

You're getting nervous. But you have to suck it up and tell him what you saw. "What?"

"I.. I saw you." you stuttered. You feel like your heart is going out of your chest because of its loud beating. You don't even know if Levi would give you some answers. "Outside with Zeke."

You felt his body stiff. You looked at him and you can see the color drained out of his face. He stood up and looked right at you.

"Did you hear our conversation?" you nodded, he muttered a curse as he turned his back at you, facing the railings.

He was hoping that you wouldn't have to know about the other him. He tried to forget and bury it when he moved. When he met you. He didn't like who he was. He didn't like that other personality, at all.

"Well, some of it.. I didn't hear all of it." you said in a low voice. You stood up and walked towards him. "I.. I'm not mad or anything. I was just curious.. Zeke told me some-"

"You said he didn't say anything." he stared at you with his serious look. The one you saw when he was pushing his foot down on Zeke's throat. You gulped as you bit your lip.

"I''m sorry.."

"What did he say?" he asked you with a firm voice. You just looked at him, unable to speak. "Aria. Fucking answer me."

"N..not much. Just.. he asked me if you showed me your true colors. Something like that."

He huffed a breath as he walk inside the living room. You followed him, your heart still beating like a wild animal. You're getting kind of scared now. 

"Levi.."

"What?" he hissed at you as he turn to look at you. "I guess you have some questions now."

"Y..you don't have to answer them but I was just curious. You know I'm not going to leave you once I knew-" you heard Levi chuckle. It's horrifyingly wicked. He stared at you as if his eyes can see your soul.

"Are you sure? You won't leave me? I have done some bad things, Aria."

Your ears perked up. You looked at Levi and he's like a different person right now. You don't know him. You thought you knew but you don't. But that doesn't deter you, you're madly in love.

"I.." your throat dries. "I won't."

"I killed someone." he said with a low firm voice. Not even hesitating to tell you. Some kind of shock jolts through your body, it's like a cold bucket of water was thrown right at you. "You still won't?"

He killed someone.

You're still going to stay?

Think about it.

You bit your lip as you move your feet and directed yourself towards him. You cupped his cheek as your thumb caresses his face. You closed your eyes and placed a gentle kiss on his lips, he looked at you with a puzzled look.

He was expecting for you to run away from him. To be scared, to be disgusted. Just like what you expected when you first show yourself to him. But you didn't.

Your lips formed an upward curve as your eyes flashed a blind devotion to him.

You're in deep. There's no way you'll leave him.

"I love you, Levi." he pulled you in immediately as he heard you said the three words, he pressed his lips into your own, he kissed you deeply tasting every inch of your lips as you coil your arms around his shoulder.

As if he'll let you. You're his. There's no way you're _escaping._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hiiiii omfg sorry did i made u wait too long? :< i had some things to do first but im baaack! hope you enjoyed this chapter, pls tell me what u think in the comments <3 love u alllllll ♡´･ᴗ･`♡
> 
> anw, i made a twitter acc it's @_ackermansbrat if u want to follow or interact with me <3


	13. Regret

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter contains sexual references, bullying, murder and death. read at ur own risk ;>

You felt a tear on your cheek as you brush your lips with Levi's. But it's not yours, no, you're not crying right now.

It's Levi. You pulled away as you look at him with a worried eyes, "Hey."

He buried his face on the crook of your neck as he silently cry. You sighed as you ruffle his hair while your other hand pats his back gently.

You're still trying to absorb what he told you. How could a person like him kill somebody?

And if he killed someone, then who? But you wouldn't want to ask him that right now.

"It's okay. It's okay." you said over and over, he tighten his grip on your body. This is the first time you see him like this, he was always calm and composed. He rarely let out emotions but you know that there's something inside him. You know there's bottled up feelings.

You pulled away for a bit and guided yourselves on the couch, as soon as you sat he held you again like a child. His arms coiled around your waist and rests his face on your shoulder. "Levi."

"Why? Why would you stay with me?" he whispered.

You ask yourself that very question, why would you stay with him? It's easy to say that it is because you love him but you know that love isn't enough to stay for someone, there's many factors to consider as to why would you stay with Levi and one big fucking factor as to why you shouldn't stay.

You just know that you're supposed to be together, like a piece of puzzle that fits perfectly.

Levi made you feel that you could be loved and that you could be safe. He made you feel that you can be happy that you could almost lift your body into thin air and fly around. That's how he made you feel, despite of what you knew that didn't discourage you.

No matter what he's done, he is still Levi. Your Levi.

Even if he killed somebody. That's how you want to be with him.

"You stayed with me even when you knew about me. Tell me, why did you stay?" you ask him back.

He pulled himself up as he lets go of you. You can see the dried tears in his face as he looks at you. "That's different. You didn't kill somebody."

"Everybody has something that they want to hide or afraid to show somebody else. Each and everyone of us did something that we were not proud of, just like you. Or in my case, something that someone has done to me that I'm ashamed of. But you didn't leave even if I'm broken and shit like that. I'm not going to leave you."

Every moment that you spent with him can't compare shit to what he's done. 

Levi huffed a breath as he lean on the couch while he wrap his arm around your shoulder, making you lean to him. You looked at him with a smile plastered on your face, "What?"

You planted a gentle kiss on his cheek, "I love you."

"You must be out of your mind." he said as he lean into your face, lips inches away from touching. You closed your eyes as you snake your arms around his neck, pushing him to your face as both of your lips touch in a rough manner. You let out a small moan as he suck and bite your lip, hands moving towards your nape to pull you in more closer. 

You pant as you pulled away, "For kissing someone like me."

He bit your lip and slowly pulls away, teeth raking as he savor every inch of your sweet flesh, "For touching someone like me."

Your eyes still etched on his, never faltering. You feel your body shiver as his grip tightens on your nape as he move his lips, tongue swirling in every inch of your mouth. Every move and touch he makes gives you waves of electrifying pleasure in every bit of your body. He pulled away and you can see his dark reeling eyes stare at you. You gripped his shirt as his face move to your ear, nipping your lobe as he husked on your ear. 

"For staying with someone like me."

At this very moment, you thought that Levi's insane. But then, you're out of your mind for staying with him. Who's to say which is which? You're both mad.

His mouth moves into your neck as he sucks and bites with a motive of leaving marks on your skin. You gasp when he licks your neck up to your jaw as he held your chin in between his fingers as he make you face him with that captivating look in his eyes. 

"And for loving me."

He can call you whatever he wants. If he calls you crazy or blind, you don't even care. You love him with every inch of your beating heart.

You're still dumbfounded by his touch, he smirks a bit when he saw your intoxicated face. 

"Yes, I'm out my mind." you said with a bit of raspy voice as you move to straddle him. "I'm out of my mind and it's because of you." you whispered as you rest your forehead into his while you close your eyes.

You ran away from that dire living when you moved away but look what you're getting into. Looks like the universe won't let you escape from this poisonous affinity.

...

You snuggled close to Levi as he pull the blanket up to cover your bodies. Your chest moves up and down as you try to compose your breathing. 

Levi looked at you and traced the bite marks on your neck to your collarbone, "Are you sure you're alright?" he asked with a gentle voice. You chuckled as you nodded. 

"Levi, I told you. It's alright."

He was much more rough to you this time than the last. You thought that maybe he was holding back last time. Either way, you still loved it. You loved his every bite to your skin. Every slap to your aching ass. Every tightened grip on your breast as he put them in his hot mouth. You loved how he pinned your throat to the bed while he fucks your throbbing wet hole. 

"Why were you so gentle the last time?" you asked him as you look at his face. He frowned at you with a questioning look on his face, "I was just wondering, you weren't rough like this back at your house."

"I was holding back. I certainly don't want my mother to hear your loud screams like you did earlier." you snorted a laugh as he shook his head at you. You remembered him earlier, stopping halfway to cover your mouth and tell you to _shut your mouth or the neighbors will think that I'm killing someone in here,_ you bit your lip as you remember every moments earlier. 

As you remember your moments in their house, you also remembered the scene after that. Him having his own definition of talk with Zeke. "Levi."

He hummed as response, "Can I ask what's the deal between you and Zeke? Is he one of the reasons why you moved in here?"

"Yeah." he said, you sit up and pulled the some part of the blanket to cover your chest.

"What happened?" you stopped when you realize that you might be stepping a bit too far, "It's alright if you don't want."

"It's alright."

There's no point in not telling you now.

_"Levi. He's dead. He's fucking dead." Eren said with a scared voice as he walk near Levi, Levi scrunched his nose when he smelled alcohol on Eren. "I tried to do a CPR on him but I can't.. Zeke left with Reiner and the others.. I.. I don't know what to do."_

_Levi specifically told Eren that he doesn't want to be bothered late at night. But then he gets a call to go to the cliff that they usually hang out to._

_"You fucker." Levi hissed as he grip Eren's collar while he look at the wet dead body in front of him. "What did you do?"_

_"Zeke treated us for a drink and he said that if he jumped off the cliff he'll let him join us." Eren was just talking in a fast and nervous manner. "And he was hesitating.. so I pushed him."_

_Levi tightened his grip on Eren's collar._ _The poor boy drowned._

_He didn't get all the fuss about the unnecessary rituals and such in joining their fucking circle. Though, you really wouldn't be joining because everyone knows that Zeke was just playing them. As if he'll let anyone join them. Zeke orchestrated this shit and he has no choice but to be involved because he looks out for these brothers._

_This is how it works out in their world. In this rich fucking world. You're bullied if you're nothing. You're being stepped on if you don't have anything to offer. This poor guy that Levi's looking at right now was tired of getting tormented every single day in his life._

_He just wanted to be a part of something. He just wanted immunity. Everyone in their university knows that Levi's circle is the most untouchable ones. A bunch of rich assholes who intimidate everyone who gets in their way._

_What was their reason? Nothing, just to maintain their status. To overpower someone weak. Every university has their own dark secrets. Every fucking university in Yarckel has a hidden bullshit._

_Levi feels like his head is splitting because of the Jaeger brothers. But they are his friends, if they go down, he will too._

_Actually, he cares much more about Eren. This little boy was just roped in his older brother's bullshits._

_"What are we going to do?" Eren asked him. Levi lets go of Eren in a harsh manner causing for Eren to fall to the ground. Levi squeezed his eyes tightly shut as he look away, he looked down at Eren and kicked his face._

_Levi was frustrated. He's going mad._

_Eren sucked the thin air in between his teeth as he felt the stinging pain in his cheek._

_"Oh, shit. He's dead." Zeke arrived with a cigarette on his mouth, there's Reiner following him. Zeke said casually as if a life didn't just end by his initiations. "Why are you- Did you kick my brother again?"_

_Zeke glared at Levi and helped Eren up. "You both reek of alcohol. And, oh. You killed someone. That's just fucking great." Levi said in a mad mocking voice._

_Levi clenched his fist as he tap his foot, trying to think of something. He got his phone from his pocket as he try to gather his strength to call his uncle. "Kenny."_

_"What do you want, you runt?" Kenny asked Levi as soon as he answered the call. Levi scoffed as he exhaled loudly. "You're only calling me to clean up your mess, what did you do now?"_

_He glared at Eren who was scared and at Zeke who just shrugged his shoulder with a smug grin on his face. "We didn't mean to." Zeke said a little loudly for Kenny to hear._

_"You bearded shit, shut your mouth." Levi said and Zeke chuckled. Levi clenched his jaw he walk a little further. "It's bad this time."_

_"Why? Someone died?" Kenny jokingly said but then he caught on when Levi didn't speak. "Well, shit."_

_"I'll send you the location."_

_"Alright." Kenny said as he drop the call. Levi walked back to his damned friends as they wait for Kenny to arrive._

_..._

_The matter were settled within a week. The boy's family were devastated but then they were shut off by money. Everything were back to normal, even if what happens isn't normal. It was automatically agreed on that they will never speak of that incident again._

_But Eren can't go on in his life knowing that he partake in somebody's death._

_The three of them are currently on Eren's room, talking about the said incident that they agreed not to talk about._

_"I should tell them that it was my fault." Eren said._

_Levi sighed as he cross his arms. "We already settled."_

_Levi can't tell Eren to suck it up because it's a big thing to carry. He knows it won't be easy to Eren._

_As much as Levi wants to do the right thing, he have some things to protect. Their Ackerman name, the big fucking drug cartel his uncle is running with a hotel front. Levi knew once the word gets out that an Ackerman was involved in someone's death, they will dig everything up._

_The police are finding a way to dig up the Ackermans but they didn't have any back up because their connections are widely spread. And for things like this, this death, it'll involve him and his family._

_His mother. His kind and sweet mother who's life would be fucked up when this went out to public._

_"Eren. What's done is done. Just fucking go on with your life." Zeke said as he puff his cigarette. Levi rolled his eyes as he hears the absurd things that Zeke was saying._

_Levi thought that life isn't something to be taken lightly. He believes that every life is important. "You're a dick."_

_"What? I'm right." Zeke looked at Levi, "There's nothing we can do about it now."_

_Levi has the urge to punch Zeke but he composed himself. "You're talking as if you didn't just took a life. At least show some remorse. Are you a fucking murderer? Or a serial killer? You're a fucking psychopath."_

_Eren just sat on the couch as he relentlessly tap his foot on the floor. Listening to Zeke and Levi argue._

_Zeke smirked as held his cigarette in between his fingers. "You're the one to talk. Levi Ackerman, acting like a righteous man. You did some bad shits too, remember? Don't talk as if you didn't torment someone in that shithole of a school and make them pee themselves."_

_"But I didn't fucking kill them. I didn't kill someone." Zeke raised his brow as he stood up from sitting on Eren's desk and puts out his cigarette._

_"You sure about that?"_

_Levi's face toughens up when he heard Zeke said that. He knew what he meant. He fucking knew._

_"I may be acting like this but I didn't get any blood in my hands, like actual blood in my hands." Zeke said, Levi clenched his fist into a tight ball as he slowly walk towards Zeke._

_Levi's jaw clenched as he look at Zeke with a deadly stare, "So, we're doing this?"_

_"What? I'm just telling you the truth. Don't act as if you didn't kill someone. Don't act like you haven't taken a life-" Zeke didn't even get to finish when Levi's fist came in touch with Zeke's face._

_Zeke fell into the ground and Levi pushed his foot down Zeke's face. Eren hurriedly went to them as he tries to calm the two. "Stop it!"_

_"Don't fucking bring that up to me you, dipshit. I did what I had to. Unless you want to see another ray of fucking sun again, just shut your damn mouth or I'll make you eat my shit."_

_Zeke cackled as annoyed Levi lets go of him. Eren helped his brother up and Levi walks to Eren's door. "I'm tired of picking your mess up. Do whatever you want, Eren. Just don't fucking drag my family in your bullshit."_

"So.. that's why you moved?" he nodded. "But you didn't kill that guy. Eren did."

"But it felt like I also killed him. I was involved."

"But you said _you_ killed someone.. right?"

Levi sighed as he pull you to lay down once again. "That.. that was not it."

You looked at him with a curious glint in your eyes. But then you thought that he might be uncomfortable in telling you that. "Can you tell me.. or not. It's alright."

Levi didn't answer you and just started to speak about the incident that he was trying to lock up.

_Levi's little legs ran into his parents bedroom as soon as he heard his mother's pained cries. He opened the door and he saw his mother on the floor. He didn't understand why his father always hurts his mom._

_He's just a kid but he understands that it's wrong to beat a woman to the point that she could die._

_"You fucking runt, get out." his father said. He looked at his mom, even though she's hurting, Kuchel gave Levi a smile._

_"Mom.." Levi said as he tried to walk to his mom._

_"Levi, no!"_

_Before he could even get to his mom, his father gripped his arm and tossed him away. "Didn't you hear me? I said fucking get out or I'll kill the both of you!"_

_Levi's small body fell to the ground, Kuchel tried to get up to get to Levi but then Levi's father pushed her down the floor and that made Levi mad. His eyes wander around the room and saw his father's golf club._

_His tiny hand picked it up and swung it into his father's head. Kuchel's eyes widen as she watch Levi beat his father over and over until he was lifeless._

_Blood flowing to the floor from his father's head._

_"Levi, what did you do?" Kuchel asked Levi with terror. She looked at him with horror as her eyes widened at the sight. "Oh, Levi."_

_Kuchel ran to her son as she pulled him, cold tears falling from her eyes when she realized what he had done._

_"You're safe now, Mom.."_

_Levi didn't feel anything but relief. He was relieved that his mother were safe already._

_In a young age, Levi killed someone and that someone was his father. Levi doesn't want the people that he loves to get hurt. He did what he had to do, he did what he thought was right._

_Kuchel didn't want to leave his husband because she didn't want Levi to grow up without any father. Levi knew his mother wouldn't do anything, so he takes the matter into his own hands._

_Levi was scarred ever since but he didn't regret what he did. He saved his mom._

"You were a kid then." you said as you stare at the ceiling while you lay on Levi's arms.

"I know." he said as he caress your hair. "I think everything I have done roots from that incident. I was fucked up. I bullied the shit out of someone who was weaker than me."

He knows that it's still in him somewhere. But being with you makes him forget about it, when he's with you, he's not the rich asshole who everybody adored but was scared of at the same time. You made him experience a more normal life than what he grew up to. 

You made him discover another side of him that he actually likes. Another him that helped him escape from his other life. 

As Levi told you about his father, that made you think about your past. What if you had the courage to do what Levi did? Everyday in that hellhole, you always think about how easier would your life would if your mother's husband was dead but you didn't have any courage to do that.

To hurt somebody and take someone else's life. You wanted to, but you can't. You hated yourself for that.

"Levi." you turned to your side to face him. "Did you regret any of it?"

"I didn't regret what I did. But what I regret is what kind of person I have become. I did not regret that I saved my mom. Even if I had to do it again, I would."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hiiii sorry again for the long wait! hopefully you enjoyed this chapter <3 pls let me know what u think in the comments, thank u <3
> 
> anw, we have two more chapters to goooo hihi <3


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